Something Lost
by MagicallyChallenged
Summary: Finding something that is lost is never easy, and in helping someone find what is lost we can sometimes realise we are not complete ourselves. Callie is surprised to find that in helping others that to some degree she is still lost , can Arizona help her too. Rated M for later chapters
1. Chapter 1

**Something Lost**

**Authors Note: I haven't written anything for what feels like years. It could have possibly been a year or so, so I'm asking for forgiveness for my fleeting use of tenses, and because I don't really have a beta, all mistakes are my own. I know next to nothing about amputees and prosthetics and the story isn't going to really revolve around it that much once it gets going but I just thought it would be a good idea to level the playing field. All characters belong to Shonda and ABC, except for Henry and Logan…. They're mine, and I love them both. xxMagically Challenged xx**

**Chapter One – Reality of Hope**

The beat is powerful, it can take hold of you in a split second, control you in a way that makes you unbreakable, indestructible. She likes the feeling it gives her, enjoys the high more than she knows she should. But she's grateful for every second she spends entranced because she knows the hardest thing to do is live without the puppet strings and try take steps unaided, to walk through life alone.

The notes echo around the oversized room, bouncing off the polished hardwood and lifting her into the air with effortless grace. It's easy, letting the music take over. It wasn't always this way, no. For a long time it was hard, and filled with a struggle that made her scream and cry and even want to give up but every morning she woke, that ache in her heart was so much more overpowering than the ache in her legs and she found herself back here. Her hand lifted in an elegant grace, soft morning light sneaking through the tangle of bare branches in the woodland outside of the studio, streaming through the full sized windows, and illuminating her in morning magnificence.

She had owned the studio for so many years now that it had become a deep part of her life. After finishing a highly successful career on Broadway, dancing her way into the top productions New York and the world had to offer, Calliope Torres had decided to call it a day. To dance for enjoyment, rather than for recognition. For a long time dance had been her passion, then it became a job, then an obligation and with time it started to become something she resented. That time in her life had scared her more than she cared to admit, openly because dance wasn't just something she could do, it was all she could do. Then something happened that caused her to appreciate what she had, because for eight solid months, she didn't feel the breath-taking wonder of a leap. She didn't feel each fall and lift in the music she heard, instead of allowing the music to take over, and losing control she had to concentrate on the simple act of putting one foot in front of the other.

Accidents are exactly that, and they can come in all different categories. When Callies car hit an icy patch on a dark and unusually busy December night and she was catapulted into a large heavy goods vehicle that left her 21st birthday present in shreds on a local highway she was convinced her life, her world was over. For months after she struggled with the repercussions of the accident, and the therapy she required was intense and most days, it was heart-breaking. She suffered alone, mostly because it was much easier to push people away than it was to let them in and admit defeat. In a way her inability to do this, was her saving grace, because it was her stubbornness and independent attitude that led her back to the dance floor. If she was asked about it now, she claimed it was a happy accident and that everything happened for a reason but that it was what we did after the storm that showed our true valour as people. Callie, she chose to dance again…. She chose to find her passion when all was lost, she chose to fight and as her bare feet hit the wooden floor in a whisper and turned her in a spin that looked effortless it was hard to believe she was dancing on a prosthetic.

The lull of the music signalled the end of the song and the beep of the intercom signalled the beginning of another working day. Making her way over to the desk and taking a glance at the security screen she saw Henry the coordinator from the local hospitals therapy support group with some of her regular class members and a few new faces. Buzzing them in she ushered herself around the room, picking up her hooded sweater that she had discarded shortly after she had arrived. Despite the October chill she still found that dancing was the quickest way to stay warm, and like an old friend it had welcomed her insomnia at 3am, with its soft silky promise of endless possibility and the warmth of a hug that would last as long as the record kept spinning.

'Morning Miss Callie..' the voices filled the room, echoing loudly between the soft lullaby she played during their warm up session. Wheelchairs were taken to the corner of the room, and Callie made her way over to where a teenage boy stood, his hands in his pockets and eyes downcast, rocking back and forth slowly from heel to toe in time with the music coming from the oversized headphones that rested on his ears.

'Good Morning Logan' she whispered, her hand outstretched towards him, palm upwards and as he raised his head her slipped his hand into hers and back out again so quickly if you blinked you would miss it. A smile found the corners of her mouth and lifted them towards the heavens at this contact. Logan had been coming to her class every Wednesday for the past two years, and this was the first time he had acknowledged Callies greeting independently. She was making a difference and that was enough. She knew that sometimes the most meaningful of interactions don't come easily, they take time, time to prepare yourself to fully appreciate what is being offered in that moment. Trust, acceptance, acknowledgment, thanks. It was all there in that fleeting movement, and that was what Callie had come to realise, was the point of everything she had worked for these past seven years.

Making her way around the room, offering greetings and directing people towards the floor she found herself drawn to a new addition. Sat in her wheelchair, at the far side of the room a look on her face Callie knew all too well.

'Hi there, my name is Callie…' she began, noticing how the blondes gaze didn't shift from the floor. Giving it moment to assess the situation, before she began again she noticed the rest of the class had made their way to the floor, ready for class to begin. Taking a deep breath she began again 'Hi there… my name is Callie, and I'm going to be your instructor today'

'Really? That's what you're going with?' the words fell from the blondes mouth with a venom Callie wasn't accustomed to, and as quick as the blonde had spoken Callie found her own voice returning the anger.

'Well I've no need to ask your name, you're obviously rude and clearly you don't want to be here'.

Her feet firmly in place she rocked back and forth, hands clenched at her sides as she tried to regain her patience, she knew coming to therapy was hard for everyone, especially that first class. She still had a large amount of residual anger in those beginning weeks of therapy, but it was easy to forget that as she had put that behind her long ago.

'what ever gave you that idea?' the blonde quizzed, sarcasm dripping from each word as she began to shift in her chair a sign of clear agitation. Callie waited for some form of eye contact but it never came and so she shrugged her shoulders and began to glance around the room while continuing this back and forth.

'I don't know,…' she began, her lips falling into a frown that showed much more than the sadness she felt watching this woman in front of her, it also showed the empathy she had for her but the blonde didn't notice. '… probably the fact that you've given up already… you'd much rather stay in your chair than give this a chance right?. Blue eyes shot a glance upwards and caught Callie off guard.

'You don't know anything about me'

Finally. A smile began to weave its magic over the Latinas lips but she pushed it back down before the other woman noticed. She wasn't an entirely lost cause, there was something there in those eyes. Yeah there was a lot of pain, Callie could see pools of uncried tears in her eyes, oceans and galaxies that held more tales than her one hour class had time to rewrite, or at least edit. She sighed, raising her hand to play with a loose tendril of black hair that had fallen from her tieback and she stepped a little closer to the chair.

'You haven't given me a chance to get to know you, but I call them how I see them and if you're wasting my time by being here, and wasting a place for someone who wants to come and give it a shot then I think…' her almost rant being interrupted once again by the venom in the blondes rebuttal.

'Yeah because you have people queuing up to ridicule themselves here'

That was it, the last straw, Callie knew that anger and pain were old buddies and that sometimes in order to get to the calm you must weather the storm but this was one pity party she wasn't going to accommodate. Not when she felt so strongly about the blonde-haired woman's targets. Her hands flew to her hips, head shaking as she closed her eyes, bit her tongue momentarily and counted to ten. Glancing at the blonde and then over her shoulder at the people that filled the dance floor, each one smiling and giggling as they began to get themselves ready. A small smile of gratitude filled her face, and she felt pity creep into her heart, pity that this person was so blinded by her anger that she was failing to see what was in front of her.

'actually, no one here ridicules themselves…' she stated, turning on her heels and lifting a hand towards where Logan stood, headphones removed and turning perfect pirouettes in time to the music, while the rest of the class watched on in awe of him. '… every person on that dance floor is a fighter…'

'Really? Because I don't see any boxing gloves, just a bunch of imaginary tutus and people stuck for a way to fill their day'.

'Well maybe you should look again, because I see a floor full of hope and possibility and yeah there are no boxing gloves, but our scars are visible…' Callie sighed, shaking her head as she began to back away slowly, realising her job was done and there was nothing more she could do.

'Well go do some…'healing' ' the blonde lifted her gaze as she raised her hands to provide the sarcastic air quotes, her voice getting louder the further away the Latina walked '…. Instead of wasting your time here. I can't do any of this, in case you haven't noticed I'm missing a limb'.

Callie stopped in her tracks and shook her head in disbelief, using your disability and your lack of something was such a cop out, it was an excuse that she didn't allow in her studio and she was done dealing with the blonde. But then she saw it, a tear rolling down her cheek, a shooting star making a break from the galaxy it once roamed and blazing a trail into a new unknown atmosphere. She stepped back towards the woman slowly, as she spoke 'I think you're missing more than that, and I can't promise you that you'll find what you're looking for here but I can promise I will try to help you find it, whatever it is…'

'That's your problem, I'm not trying to find anything… I'm done looking, what I lost, I can't get back… no amount of prancing around like an idiot is going to help me get my life back' the blonde slammed her hands down on the armrests of her chair and began to shake her head, her shoulder length tendrils falling over her face. The perfect cover-up.

'Then give up, don't fight… sit here and stare at that empty space below your knee and keep being angry …'

'You don't know what I've been through… I can't do this, I can't…' the blonde shook her head and Callie knew that the sky was falling. She lowered herself to a crouching position and placed her hands on her knees, head ducking as she tries for the first time to see underneath the curtain of gold that's shielding the rest of the room from the meteor shower that's rolling down the blondes face. She opens her mouth, and its barely a whisper but she hope it's enough.

'You don't know what I've been through, and we both don't know what anyone else here has been through but the moment you come through that door the playing field levels a little… you keep saying you can't, but the reality is you can do anything if you put your mind to it…'

'spare me the lecture…'

With one last sigh Callie straightens up, brushes the invisible creases out of the lycra leggings she's wearing and pulls her t-shirt down in an act of composure before nodding in momentary defeat 'Then spare me the attitude, at least while you are here. Look, stay in your chair, get up and stretch, personally that's up to you but you never know you might enjoy it… '

She walks away and heads over towards the rest of the class who have been stretching themselves out patiently, each one aware of the difficulty of being the new member of the class, each one aware of the sensitivity required in this situation having experienced it themselves. Callie politely orders them to find an open space in the room and begins to run through the set list of stretches, a watchful eye passing over each member of the class and occasionally stealing glances at the blonde who remained stoic in the corner of the room. She can feel her stare when she takes Logan to the centre of the room as the class begins to wind down, and the begin to partner each other in a routine she has helped him perfect for the past few weeks. His strong hands lifting her with ease, his own leaps reaching heights she once knew in single bounds and now longed to reach once again. They move complimentary to the dulcet tones emanating from the stereo, Callie allowing her eyes to close as she falls into turns with the grace of a raindrop circling its way down the stem of the first daffodil in springtime. Suddenly she is lost in the music and even though she knows it's almost quitting time she allows herself another few minutes to let go.

As her feet come to a stop and her hands slowly fall to her sides she glances up at the clock, a few people have made their way over to their chairs, others stand in awe at the barre, their jaws open wide at the graceful movement of the Latina. She nods in appreciation and then announces the class is over and as she does she could swear she saw slight disappointment make a fleeting appearance on the pallid cheeks of her observer.

The porter walks over towards the blonde who is still seated in her chair and tips his hat at her while greeting her with a smile, 'You ready to go Miss Robins?'

Unable to turn her head away from the sight before her she replies without eye contact 'My ride is picking me up here, I can make my own way out thanks Henry' she is truly grateful, in the past few weeks the only person she has been able to tolerate is the older gentleman and she thinks it's because his pebbledash hair and greying stubble remind her of her grandfather. She glances at him quickly, and seals her thanks with a nod of her head. Lifting one hand to tuck her hair behind her ears her eyes unable to focus before

'She's wonderful isn't she?' he speaks and she knows his tone instantly, admiration and awe, a wash of relief fills her as she realises that she is not the only one this Latina has weaved her magic on '…She used to dance on Broadway you know, before the accident'.

For a moment this last statement goes unheard, but as it slowly travelled through her ears and was processed she realises there's something different about each step the other woman takes. A hop in her step, a light stiffness that doesn't show immediately but under scrutiny is a lot more obvious and then her breath falls from her as her eyes follow the curves of the Latinas body, the perfect curve of her hips and down her toned legs until she arrives at the cause of curiosity. She feels a sharp pain in her chest, and a slow unravelling in her stomach as she sucks in some fresh air.

'Why are you telling me this?' she asks, her words faltering as they fall from her mouth in an sympathetic tone that aches to whisper her apologies to the still dancing figure in front of her. She turns her gaze to the man standing beside her, who can't seem to avert his eyes from the sight before them either.

'I'm telling you, so you know she's being genuine when she wants to help you, she doesn't get paid for these classes. She opens her space up to us for free and teaches us because she's been there… she's been lost and in need of some stability, and she didn't have a group like this, she had no one and now look at her' he smiles as Callie begins to move around the room once more, but this time not in a swift musical motion but in more of a stiff, fight through the pain walk towards her music centre and then allowing herself to begin a decent to the floor where she begins to rub at her calves, all the while humming to herself.

The blonde watches her with an intense curiosity, she had been too caught up in her own anger she had failed to realise that Callie was one of the fighters she had been talking about, she danced around the room effortlessly with the grace of a perfectly abled person and yet at the end of her left leg, the daylight found its reflection in the prosthetic she wore. Feeling humbled and a little ashamed at her earlier attitude she couldn't hide the smile when she opened her mouth to speak 'Yeah… I can't stop'

'I'll see you tomorrow Miss Robbins' Henry tipped his hat towards the blonde and began to make his way out of the studio, waving to the Latina from across the room, and as she watched her return the mans' gesture she wondered exactly what had happened to Callie, what her story was and how she had arrived at this point in life. She wasn't sure she would ever know, but there was a burning curiosity inside of her that longed to solve itself. She wasn't sure if it was knowing that Callie had really been in her position and could relate, or whether it was the magic she possessed in her leaps and bounds that caused Arizonas resolve to weaken but she felt a little anger leaving her with each passing second and being replaced by a voice telling her she had nothing to lose.

There began a fire in the blonde that she knew wouldn't be extinguished as easily as it had begun, and so she waited, and when the Callie glanced her way one final time she lifted her gaze to meet chocolate brown pools and offered her a smile she had buried deep inside, filed away in the drawer marked happiness. A heartfelt, genuine smile that made her stomach fill with butterflies and her heart fill with the warmth of possibility. Only when Callie returned the smile and began to approach her did Arizona feel something else, it began in the tingle of her toes, and radiated all over body so much so that she swore if she raised a palm to the daylight you would see the wonders of the universe glistening there in her palm, she hadn't felt this for a long time, and yet there it was in all its glory…the dark-haired, caramel skinned reality of hope.


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay so here is the next instalment, I'm so sorry it took so long. It's been a terribly busy week. Someone had asked how often I would be looking at updating this, and I have to admit I have had a tendency to start fics and not finish them but this is basically written in its entirety. Dialogue is done I am just padding it out with the descrip, and filler etc. So that definitely won't be an issue here. I'm looking at weekly updates, but because I made you guys wait, this week I'm hoping to post two if not three more chapters. I do however lead a busy life, so children and our training schedules will take precedent. I tend to update during the wee hours,(UK wee hours) and I will promise to try and not disappoint you all by spacing them out too long.**

**Thank you for taking time out to read this drabble of mine, and also, thank you to those wonderful people who take a second to give me the encouragement to keep writing.**

**Enjoy! **

**X Magically Challenged X**

**Chapter 2**

Sometimes hope can be all we have, sometimes it's the hardest thing in the world to find, and sometimes you realise that in order to welcome hope into your life you just have to embrace the day. Take it for what it is and let the minutes pass by without over analysing everything, and without holding a grudge. Sometimes it's just easier to let go, and when you do, you will be amazed to find that hope will be your reward.

Arizona felt her breathing hitch as she watched Callie approach her, the large room echoing the lightest of noises now that it was empty. She looked around nervously, praying for her ride to burst through the door and whisk her away before another round of talk began between herself and the Latina because she wasn't entirely sure she could hold up much of a resolve anymore, especially when she allowed herself a momentary gaze into Callies eyes, those things were going to be the end of her, she knew it.

'Is someone picking you up?' Callie asked, stepping close enough to the blonde that she could smell the lavender shampoo nestled in the tresses of her hair. Sighing she took a exhale, and tried to achieve some eye contact.

'My ride was supposed to be here, but I guess he's running late…' the blonde admitted, her gaze falling to the floor and a defeated look finding her face. '…I um… I can wait outside…' she offered, lifting a hand and gesturing towards the doorway. Callie took one glance at the trees dancing in the strong autumnal winds and shook her head.

'No, it's okay, stay… please'. She watched as the blondes shoulders sank in relief, stepping closer she ducked her head , trying to gain some form of acknowledgement from the other woman. When Arizona lifted her head and her eyes found Callies, she felt her words once again getting caught in her throat. She swallowed, her heart pounding so fast it was almost deafening. She watched a smile form on Arizonas face and when her lips parted her ears were filled with a tone she hadn't yet heard from the blonde.

'Hey um, I'm sorry I was rude to you earlier…' soft, and apologetic, Callie couldn't help but smile and step closer to her, she knew this tone all too well she just hadn't expected it to happen so soon. It wasn't defeat, and it wasn't acceptance, but it was a beginning and in the nature of beginnings Callie felt it only right to let their meeting start over.

'You don't have to apologise,' she started, shaking her head and shrugging her shoulders '… I do understand where you are coming from, as much as you think I don't…' her hands fell to her sides, an action she hoped the blonde interpreted as appropriate, she still hadn't lost her eye contact and so she continued '… anger is normal, but so is letting go of it and believe me, when you release it all you'll begin to feel a little better. Like you can attempt anything.' This last sentence fell from her lips in an almost whisper, it was a truth Callie wished more people would fight to experience. She knew how hard it was to work through something once you have reached a low, but she also knew how high you could be lifted once you started the road to acceptance, once the angry cloak of resentment, guilt and fear fell from your shoulders. She smiled at the blonde, the corners of her mouth reaching further towards the heavens when she saw her action reflected on Arizonas face.

'You think I could attempt to do that jump you did?' the blonde laughed, her fingers dancing nervously along the rims of her wheels. Eyebrows raised Callie took this as a challenge, as a commitment and so she stepped forward and held her hand outstretched.

'Maybe one day, you will. But, how about the first thing we do is start with getting you out of that chair?'

She fluttered her fingers and nodded towards her empty palm, eyes expectant and as she bit her lip in hope she wasn't disappointed. Lifting one hand from the wheel, Arizona stretched forward slowly and allowed her hand it sit in Callies palm. A breath of relief escaped both of them, and so Callie began to move closer, she stood as close as the chair would allow and slowly, hands steady she moved Arizonas hand towards her shoulder, reaching her own around the blondes waist as she brought their bodies flush and allowed Arizona a moment to get accustomed to her own weight.

She shifted from one leg to the other in a slow rocking motion that took them across the room at a pace that suited the blonde, listening carefully for any sound of discomfort or any hitch in her breath that would indicate a need to stop. Smiling as they reached the middle of the dance floor and she allowed herself a moment to look upwards. She wasn't let down. She saw concentration in the way the blonde chewed her lip, and determination in the darkening of her now deep blue eyes and as she continued to move, she felt fairly certain that this was the start of something neither of them could take back.

'There, that's not so bad is it', the Latina stated, pausing in the middle of the floor and allowing Arizona a moment to get herself comfortable, to find her balance and even out her weight.

'Not really, no' she admitted, her smile still sitting pretty on her face, and her heart was doing somersaults. She took a deep inhale, for a moment she felt lightheaded, she wasn't sure if the cause of it was the rush she felt in actually getting up out of the chair, or if it was the electricity she felt jolt around her body as Callie held her close.

She felt her hands shake, her legs tremble and for a moment she allowed a fleeting thought of happiness to encompass her before she checked herself and reigned it in, giving herself a mental berating, the corners of her mouth fell as she regained her sullen disposition. Noticing this, Callie decided to step up her game and readied herself, hands moving from Arizonas hips and slipping an arm around her middle as she pulled her closer, before reaching towards her own shoulder and bringing Arizonas hand into her own.

'Let's get you moving a little, okay' she stated, rather than questioned, knowing full well that in questioning you leave the person with an option and now she finally had her out of the chair there was no way Callie was going to give Arizona an option to return, not without trying first. Strictly steps forward from now on.

'I'm still unsteady, this is still new to me' the blonde replied looked down at her feet and moving them slowly to follow the Latinas own steps.

'That's okay, I remember how that feels, here'

Tightening her hold around Arizonas waist and smiling, she silently reassured the blonde that she was safe before she began to quicken her pace. Giggling lightly as she noticed Arizonas furrowed brows of concentration as she tried her best to keep in time and step, with their waltz, Callie brought their joined hands in between their now flush bodies and nudged the blondes chin gently, urging her gaze upwards. What greeted her was enough to take her own breath away, instead of sullen apathy she was greeted with a smile unearthed from depths unknown. She could see in the way the blondes bottom lip trembled and eyes filled with threatening tears, that this meant more to Arizona, than she herself had known.

'Well if that isn't the best thank you gift I've ever gotten, I don't know what is' Callie stated, and for a moment they came to a standstill.

No longer moving to the soft notes emanating from the sound system but instead happily static surrounded by the silence of unspoken appreciation. Their eyes locked on one another's, and hands still in a firm clasp, neither could find it in them to pull apart. A ghost of a whisper began to form on Arizonas tongue, her lips parted gently and her tongue danced its way towards her teeth, but before she could allow the gratitude to exit her mouth she found her words once again lost. Her hand had slipped from Callies waist and was now resting innocently on her lower back, her thumb absentmindedly circling on the bare skin exposed there. Callies' eyes widened at the contact, and her lips clamped down hard on her bottom lip, as she heard the soft yet quickening breaths falling from the woman in front of her. She took a moment to survey the situation, the defiance she had encountered earlier, the attitude and the apathy had all given way to a look that Callie knew could have her on her knees, instantly.

She knew this was dangerous, this whole situation was dangerous, and yet as one of the remaining rays of daylight encroached upon the studio, and swept a glittering crystalline path along the hardwood, illuminating the blonde, Callie wondered why she hadn't noticed it before.

The woman in her arms, was beautiful.

Painfully beautiful, from her corn silk curls that danced lightly over her shoulders to the deep pools of aquamarine that she could quite easily drown in, Tilting her head slightly to properly appreciate the vision in front of her, she wondered if there was a way to silence the humming in her head, the feather light sound of attraction. Not allowing herself another moment to think, Callie inched closer to the blondes lips and allowed her tongue to run along her own, her heart pounding as she tasted Arizona in the air.

The sound of the heavy doors swinging open wasn't enough to break them from their reverie, only when he was within touching distance of the couple and his deep voice filled the empty room did the echoes finally reach their ears.

'I'm so sorry Arizona, I got caught up at home, what with trying to install the new shower suite and…' he came to a stop as he finally lifted his gaze and took in the sight before him, the blonde, standing in the middle of the dance floor, actually standing, with only the arms of the Latina wrapped around her for support '..I…I'm interrupting, where's the rest of your class?' he scanned the room and noted its emptiness.

'It finished over a half hour ago Tim' she told him, the words falling from her mouth with a sadness that didn't go unnoticed by Callie.

'Crap, I'm so sorry' he ran his fingers through his short cropped hair, and rubbed at the back of his head, one hand resting sheepishly in the pockets of his jeans.

Arizona felt her face heating up, and although she couldn't see it she was sure her cheeks had a deep pink hue to them with what had almost been about to happen, and her uncertainty at just exactly how much Tim had witnessed. Letting her hands fall from their hold on Callie she began to fumble nervously, stepping backwards.

'It's okay, I was just…' she began, shaking her head lightly as if trying to shake the image of those lips that had almost encompassed her own mere moments ago, mentally scolding herself for allowing it to almost happen. Tim stepped towards them and reached out his hands towards Arizona, as he did Callie finally managed to gain enough control of herself to notice the blondes gaze had fallen back to the floor, her shoulders had slumped and her silence had slipped back in the doorway with the man who stood before them '… I was just um…'

'…Letting go' Callie finished, her hands slipping slowly to her sides as she felt the weight of the blonde being taken in the arms of the man who was already determined to guide her back to the chair that sat lonely in the corner of the room. She let a light smile ghost her face as she shook her arms and headed over to the music system and fumbled with a few buttons, trying to pretend she didn't notice the struggle going on over the other side of the room. She watched through the mirrored reflection as Arizona slumped back down into her chair, her body limp and lifeless where moments ago it had hummed with the very fibre of being. It was hard to resist the urge to go and take her back out of the chair and continue their, well whatever it had been but Callie continued to both watch and pretend not to, as Tim nodded, satisfied that his passenger was safely situated before he began to wheel her over towards the exit, stopping next to Callie as he did.

'Thank you for letting her stay here' his tone was apologetic, and his eyebrows rose in a mixture of shock and amusement when Callie spun on her heels and waved his comment aside.

'You don't have to thank me, and you don't have to speak for her either, I'm pretty sure she's perfectly capable of thanking me herself'. She motioned towards where Arizona sat and craned her neck slightly in another attempt to catch the blondes gaze. What she didn't expect was the breathlessness she experienced when the blonde looked up. Open mouthed and the moisture for her lips leaving on the unspoken whispers of admiration she was thinking, Callie felt a small flutter in her chest. She managed to pull her full lips into a smile and their usual routine of giving receiving didn't fall short as Arizona smiled back, her eyes still heavy with burden, but Callie could see a small glimmer of appreciation.

'She is?' Tim began, looking down at the blonde in confusion.

'I am' Arizona stated confidently, her head nodding softly as she began again '… Thank you again Callie, for letting me stay… and for the waltz'.

'You're very welcome, It was my pleasure…' Callie smiled, lifting a hand and tucking another stray strand of midnight hair behind her ear, her words tripping over the threshold of her mouth as they fell into the open 'look I um, if um… I'm not busy tomorrow if you want to stop by and 'prance around like an idiot' again, I'd be more than happy to have you here…'

Arizona smiled and blushed slightly at the Latina quoting her earlier comment, her eyes fluttering in an unspoken apology.

'You don't have classes?' Tim asked, his tone again dripping with worry and unnecessary apology and Callie knew that in his mind ran the possibility that Arizona would simply be in the way. She shook her head and kept her gaze focused on the blonde.

'Thursday is my down day and I would love the company' her tone lifting at the last few word.

'You come here on your down day?' Arizonas voice filled the room, and Callie could hear the sympathy in her tone, a sadness that stayed hidden behind the ruse of gaining some knowledge. Callie lifted her head, and began to survey her surroundings.

The wide open room, the hardwood floor that she hand polished every night before she left, sometimes while singing and other nights while wiping at her reflection as her tears fell. It was here she had learned that you can wipe them away but you can't erase all the paths they rolled down your face. No. Those remained forever unseen but still felt.

She looked over towards the waiting room that during weekends was packed full of mothers, some with books in their hands, some with bags bigger than the offspring they chased through the doors, and some carrying another eventual student either in their arms, or strapped to their chest. She noted the rainbow coloured depictions of her and the studio, some crude, others insanely accurate and she smiled. 'I come here every day, all day… and some nights I stay'.

'Whoa that's dedication' Tim snorted, a note of derision coating his words. Callie shot him a glance, eyebrows narrowed and an obviously hurt look creeping its way onto her face.

'It's all I have', she whispered, her voice barely audible. She felt her heart sink, an understanding now coming to her as she realised this tone was not reserved purely for the woman in the chair. She allowed her sadness to encompass her, as her gaze fell to floor and then she felt a warmth at her side as her hand was lifted slightly. She watched as Arizona reached for her, their fingertips dancing as the blonde flipped the tables and tried to capture her gaze.

'Maybe I'm not the only one who lost something' she suggested, her tone full of a sincerity that made Callie want to reveal all. That made her want to fall to the floor, her head in her lap and just let it all go, admit that there were something's that were just too hard to release. Something's that even time hadn't managed to heal. She bit her lip and swallowed her resolve before nodding and lifting her hand in the lightest of waves. She watched Tim wheel Arizona towards the double doors and out into the fresh breeze she swept in on. A gentle pang in her chest reminded her to blink and as she shook the image of them from her head her lips parted and out slipped her goodbye.

'Enjoy the rest of your day Arizona…'

Turning in her chair at the sound of the Latinas words, Arizonas face fell into a smile, she lifted a hand and brushed her hair back behind her ears before replying. '…You too Callie'.


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay so this is another instalment for those of you still reading. I'm extremely grateful for your continued support and reviews. Thank you all. This one is a little (not much) longer but it was hard to write. Inner turmoil is tough, depression is tough and so is life, right? Anyways, I just wanted to let you know once again I have barely next to no knowledge of anything medical, because I'm not a doctor, doctor. Also, I'm not a solider, nor do I profess to know the inner workings of the army etc. I do however come from a militant background and I'm thankful every day for my family and ancestors who fought and gave their tomorrows for my todays.**

**Peace and Love. Enjoy.**

**xx Magically Challenged xx**

**Chapter 3**

The autumn knows a dance we all experience, the wind slips between the leaves and coerces them from their branches, floating softly as they spiral to the ground. They fall whether they want to or not, it's natures' way of reminding us who is in charge. Not even the strongest of living things, with its roots firmly buried deep in the earth has a hope of fighting against the elements. So why do we mere mortals try?

Arizona felt a shiver start its path along her shoulders, working its way down her spine and she shook her body side to side until it passed. Chewing on her lip as she tried to make sense of what happened back in the studio, her fingers tapping nervously on the armrests as Tim wheeled her across the parking lot and over to his car. Her lips, tasted like cherries, or at least the air between their kiss tasted like cherries and now all Arizona could taste was the ghost of a kiss that could have spelled trouble. She wrapped her arms around herself in a hug that replaced the warmth Tim had practically dragged her from moment ago, and her mind drifted to a question that had been bugging her for a good part of her day.

'Why was a perfect stranger willing to have patience with me, and give me a second chance while still allowing me to feel like an adult and my own brother can't even look me in the eyes?' her mind races around answers she doesn't want to believe but she knows the possibilities are there for a reason, and she knows the reality isn't something she is ready to hear just yet. Pushing out a breath she has been holding since saying goodbye to the Latina, she allows herself a moment to look around. The never ending trails of gold and amber, a crunchy mosaic that led from the sidewalk to the studio, made her think of the yellow brick road, and she smiled for a moment wondering if the magical person behind the door could really give her that hope she seemed to have been needing in order to feel once again… complete.

She wrapped her arms around Tims' neck as he lifted her into the front seat of his car, a rental he had picked out specifically for its adaptive features. Eyes remaining locked on the sepia world around them, as he reached over her for the seatbelt. She reacted instantly, her hand darting out and smacking his away with such vigour it scared them both equally.

'I can do it Tim' she spat, her tone and attitude switching almost instantaneously, clearly influenced by the company she was surrounded with. She fumbled with the black strap, fingers gripping as best as they could while she twisted from the waist and shakily pushed the clip into its holder. He didn't say another word but proceeded to wheel the chair to the trunk of the car, pausing to close the door but having second thoughts and just pushing it close enough that she could attempt to do this herself too. She pulled the door with a heavy hand and as the bang reverberated around the vehicle she could have sworn her heart made a similar noise as it fell from her chest right out to the floor.

Chair folded and stored away, she watched from the rear view mirror as Tim slid around the car as if on some smooth platform, pulled the catch and slipped in beside her. He buckled up and began to pull out, not even the irritating sounds of static coming from the radio could have blocked out the sound of tension between them.

'So you want to tell me what I walked in on there?' his tone was accusatory and also contained a slither of disgust.

'It was a therapy session' she replied monotonously, not wanting to get into this with him. Not entirely sure why he assumed it was his business in the first place, but also not knowing the exact answer herself. She turned her head away from him and began to watch the rainbow of cars pass by, the fleeting glimpse of technicolour a much more welcome vision than the blonde man next to her stewing in his own dissatisfaction.

'Looked more like a private dance party to me'

She shook her head and bit her tongue, not entirely sure why she hadn't realised that their conversation was far from over, this was Tim. He was like a dog with a bone once he got started. She pulled out her cloak of sarcasm and draped it over her reply, making sure to keep her eyes fixed anywhere but on him 'Oh yeah, that was a party, you should have seen it before the class left the room'

'Seriously Arizona, what happened? This morning you were determined to keep permeating the ass groove in your wheelchair, and perfecting the death glare of ages and yet I walk in on you 'waltzing' with some seriously hot Latina, and making googly eyes…'

Her gaze betrayed her darting up to find his face, a glance of steel that had caused an oil leak in her stormy ocean eyes. '…I was not making googly eyes at anyone Tim, she was helping me like she does everyone else in her class', part of her regretted saying this the moment the words left her mouth as it caused an element of doubt, which lead to her questioning her earlier thoughts on the Latina. She had gotten so lost in assuming she knew who she was, relating to her and allowing her in because her guard had been lowered by Henry, that she forgot that she didn't really didn't know Callie at all.

'Yeah, I bet she invited them all to join her on her day off too…' Tim snorted, the disgust moving to the forefront of his speech now and that was enough to cause Arizona to clam up.

'That was a kind gesture, one that I won't be taking her up on' her voice terse and her hands tensed in fists at her sides as she chewed on the inside of her cheek to prevent her from losing it entirely. She turned her mind to counting, in an attempt to focus her mind, to try and make some sense of the situation, in light of his less than light hearted enquiries. Her shoulders began to sag slightly, and then she heard his voice permeate her thoughts and she found herself becoming tense again.

'Why not, thought you looked good out there, all you know…. Still and lost in the music… ' she turned her head fiercely, eyes locking on him and brows furrowed in anger at his passive aggressive comments regarding the issue '…what?' he asked, shrugging his shoulders and moving his hands to the right as they turned off the main street and headed towards the residential part of town. '… It wasn't like you were busting any moves, you could barely take your eyes and hands off of each other'.

She broke. Her hands balled in fists so tight she could feel the heat of her skin breaking as her nails found purchase and left crescent moon shapes on her palms. Her tongue no longer able to hold its position on the back, as her anger flanked her teeth and fell over the precipice of her lips in a tone that was so loud it caused the man next to her to jump in his seat.

'Shut up Tim.. just shut up!', it didn't matter that he was looking at her with shock, or that a smirk had formed a camp in the corner of his mouth and was almost ready to raise its flag and declare 'about time'. None of it mattered because somewhere deep inside her there was an ache, an uncertainty that she couldn't quite move past. She had a need to defend the honour of the Latina, especially when she knew where the direction of this conversation would eventually and undeniably lead to. But she also wondered why she would feel such a strong urge to protect and defend when she was absolutely, positively done with that aspect of her life.

Two hours in a room with a stranger and she was starting to unravel quicker than a prime time TV show subplot.

She allowed a disproving and irate breath pass through her lips so loud she hoped it would blow away her earlier defence, her fierce anger being replaced by defeat as she found the power to turn away. Glancing out the window, her hand crept down slowly to her leg, fingers tracing the solid rim where her prosthetic joined her thigh, she grimaced and shook her head '… It's not like that Tim, she was helping me remain upright…'.

'I definitely would mind getting horizontal with her…' he snorted and she turned to face him in disgust. Her eyebrows knitting as she shook her head in disbelief that he could be so tactless. She knew he liked to poke and prod, but sometimes she swore he didn't come with the standard fitted internal filter. He just spoke what came into his head, nice or not and she really didn't want to hear that from him. Not right now. Not about Callie.

'Why does everything have to roll back to sex with you?' she stated rather than asked but was answered anyway with a shrug from his shoulders and an earnest look.

'I'm a man starved for female attention, I'm on day 5 of a 14 day R and R, although I can't imagine that she would make that easy…' he bit down on his lip and shook his head, his eyes glossing over and Arizona could see that his mind had begun to wonder back to thoughts of the Latina, she threw a balled fist towards him and when it connected with his thigh his gaze came into focus again 'Hey! I'm single, I can look, and touch, and appreciate, over and over' his tone laced with innuendo and with his mind starting to wonder again, Arizona balled her fist once again in warning to him. He smirked and focused on the road ahead, his fingers flicking nimbly at the indicator and hands sliding around the wheel as they rounded the corner into a small, modest neighbourhood 'Look Arizona, I was honestly hoping that my attempt at humour would keep you docile enough to handle the talk I intend on having with you when we get home'.

There it was. In one sentence, he had turned into her father. He had played the 'we need to talk' handle and his tone was full of obligation and disappointment. She instantly clammed up, her hands balling into fists at her side, and her stomach churning so hard she could feel it pushing the bile up into her throat. She felt sick, not the sweaty hands, elevated fever, kind of sick. More like the headache you get when you know something you really don't want to deal with is about to happen, and it won't go away no matter how much you run. Her hands moved to her lap, still curled tight and her gaze followed suit.

'Talk to me about what exactly?'.

The car began to slow down, rolling cautiously into an already filled parking lot in front of a tall apartment building. She kept her gaze in her lap so she didn't have to see the look on his face when he began to speak, her heart already knew the words that would find her ears, she had been expecting them for a while now.

'Arizona I have to leave in nine days and I'm gone for another twelve months, I need to know that you'll be okay while I'm gone I can't have the thought of you like this in my head for the duration, not where I'm going…''. Disappointment gave way to uncertainty. Her ears began to play his words over and over and she closed her eyes, her breath catching as the words became hard to hear, a string of elongated vowel sounds that made her feel like she was underwater. The car rolled to a stop, as he applied the brakes gently she jolted slightly in her seat, a small push back into reality. She lifted her head, her voice small as she challenged his words.

'Tim, please…you can't wait to get back to barracks… ' now it was time for his eyes to betray him, they glassed over quicker than a lake does in high winter and she felt it like a hit to chest '… you're not going back to barracks are you Tim?' shaking her head she already knew the answer.

'Not this time sis, no… I'm sorry this wasn't supposed to happen, not like this, I was supposed to come back and find that you were already rolling around on your Heeley's, that you were still able to pull on a jersey and kick my ass in a game of touch football, but…' his gaze crossed their confines and took her in momentarily. He sighed looking at the woman beside him, her forlorn face. The way her once infectious smile had given way to a deep set frown. Her alabaster skin no longer glowing but tired from nights of sleep loss, eyes that once sparkled like a meteor shower, dull and bloodshot, cerulean night skies without the aurora borealis she once carried around so effortlessly. Her differences showing all over, her shoulders once broad and strong, now slumped in defeat, in exhaustion. Her hands, the ones that had patched him up on more than on occasion now fisted in balls so tight that the night sky had been written in multiverse all over her palms. Then his gaze moved lower, and she saw his jaw slacken as he reached her prosthetic limb. Nodding as she bit her lip she spoke with an anger that boiled over.

'But you came home to an invalid…'

'Arizona,' he pleaded, but her hand rose in front of him, palm spread wide in a motion to silence him and it did. Her palm angry and red, with indents that made him wince at their sight, she began to shake uncontrollably, her words falling from her mouth in stereo sound, filling the space between them instantly.

'…I told you that you could have stayed, that you should have stayed… It's only been 6 months…I wasn't ready to do this, to have this talk. I told you not to come, I begged you… I really, I…I can't'.

She turned from him, reached for the handle, hands shaking and fingers trembling as she closed her eyes tight and tried to regain enough control to open the door. Finally locking a grip and pulling towards her body she shifted in her seat, in an attempt to get out but felt the door being pulled shut once again. He had unbuckled himself and was now hovering over her, he was so close she could taste the salt from his tears, in the air.

'No Arizona, you don't get to keep doing this, I'm not putting this off for another 9 days, you need to help me out here'

Desperation can hold us in an eternal limbo, its stronger than any other emotion we can feel. We are lucky as humans that we have the ability to work our way through these strong feelings and sometimes it can be an instant fix. Desperation however, can hold you so tight you sometimes forget to breathe, and once it has you there… it's almost impossible to find your way back.

Turning in her seat she took it all in, her body anchored towards where he now sat having pushed himself back as if she has started to advance on him. Disbelief sat on the precipice of her tongue, sharing the scene with anger and disappointment and the results of all three was her body shaking as she shouted over him to be heard.

'What you think that you can come back and miracles would happen?'' she glanced at the man in front of her, the way his mouth hung open wide, the defeat he was showing '… I lost my leg Tim, I was doing it. I was out there living the dream, his dream, my dream, our dream and it was taken from me in an instant. I can't get that back, one split second, and the simple act of walking and my life was literally torn out from underneath me…' her words interrupted as he threw his hands in the air and bounced in his seat.

'That's where you are wrong Arizona!… Damn it… your life, is right in front of you. You got out Arizona, you don't have to pretend like this was what you wanted. I know dad always taught us to be a good man in the storm and that the most honourable thing we could do as American citizens and as his children was to serve our country, but Arizona… you were made for so much more than that. You were made to make this world a better place…'

'I was made to fight Tim' she deadpanned, her anger showing as she bit on her lip so hard she could taste the blood that rushed to the surface '… I was made to be a soldier, it was my life and I loved it and then I went and stepped on a IED and got myself a one way ticket to this life, and I can't go back… I'm stuck Tim… I'm stuck…'. Her voice getting higher and louder, the anxiety in her voice filling her own ears and causing her a moment of realisation. The warm sting of tears rolling down her cheeks and falling in her palms causing her to break down, shoulders shaking as she let it all finally come out. She felt a hand on her shoulder, a strong touch that gripped her and reminded her she wasn't alone. His voice soft and sympathetic, he shifted a little closer.

'You don't get it at all, you're not stuck Arizona, you are lucky, you are blessed because it could have ended up a different story. You could have lost so much more than your leg, than your short term inability to balance, you could have died…' his last confession a barely audible whisper but she heard the pain that lingered between them. That was one emotion she knew all too well.

'Sometimes I wish…' she began, only to have her breath stolen as his hand gripped her harder and he shook her until her eyes met his, the familiar pool of blue inherent in her Robbins family only making it tougher for her.

'Don't you dare Arizona, you want to be a fighter, you talk about how you were supposed to be a soldier, then show me. Fight this, fight the depression and the negative thoughts that are trapped inside your head. Fight them off and stand tall again, don't just give in... please. You were one of the best soldiers I have ever had the pleasure to know, but you're the best sister I will ever know'.

'You don't understand…'

He retreated, moving back to his seat, his hand slowly slipping from its purchase on her shoulder and falling to his side he took a deep breath. 'I guess not, I guess I never really will. But I need you to suck it up, stop thinking that the world owes you something and remember that there are people in far worse circumstances than you.' Lip s trembling and heart pounding out of his chest he continued. '… I love you but I can't keep doing this, allowing you to feel sorry for yourself. You're still here Arizona, you're still alive that means that there's something else this life has to offer for you…'.

'Like what exactly?'. The impossible question. They both knew it, neither of them could say for certain what exactly life would hold for her, neither would even care to wager a guess but right now it felt like the answer was nothing.

'I don't know, but isn't that the beauty of it all, the ability to find out… to start over. To make a new life, and have new dreams. Isn't that the beauty of it all' his words finding a hopeful melody she hadn't heard in a while and for a moment she almost fell prey to the soft spoken ways of Timothy Jack Robbins, but then she found herself and began to exit the car again.

Spinning towards the doorway, she braced herself, one hand on the dash and the other on the frame pulling herself out. As her feet found the floor she took a deep breath and pushed herself upright, taking a minute to allow her legs to become accustomed to her weight. He had joined her almost instantly, one hand slipping around her waist the other guiding her arm across the expanse of his shoulders as he moved her away from the vehicle, pausing momentarily to push the door shut. They began to make their way towards the apartment entrance, an uneasy silence lingering between them as they walked through the foyer and straight to the elevators. Stepping inside she found his hold loosen as she reached for the bar around the lift to keep herself steady. The dings counting the floors and by the fifth as the doors opened he grabbed her once again and helped her meander the narrow hallways. His free hand fumbling in the pocket of his jeans, he pulled out a sliver of shiny metal and slid it into the large reinforced wooden door.

His words still echoing around her head she allowed him to lead her towards the kitchen, her hands reaching desperately for the dark marble countertop. Shaking herself from his hold, she sighed as he moved away to give her enough space to do what she needed to, whilst allowing himself a minute to recover from the explosive conversation.

'I'm going to get some rest, if you need anything just shout okay?' he walked to the door of his room, hand reaching for the door he turned and took another glance at his sister '..and Arizona, when your new home help nurse starts tomorrow please be nice to her… she's the seventh in two weeks, and I really need to know you're going to be okay when I'm gone'

She felt an anger surging once again, but rather than pursuing it and allowing it to take over, she took a deep breath and shook her head. 'No Promises… Tim…'

He spun around and looked at her desperately '…Yeah?'

'You and I have very different ideas on what is beautiful'.

He smiled and she could tell by the look on his face he was thinking about earlier, and what he had walked in on. 'I wouldn't say that … Night sis…'.

She didn't reply, instead she focused her attention on manoeuvring. Grabbing the black cane that sat lifelessly at the end of the bar she made her way over towards her bedroom and shut the door. Stepping slowly to her bed, she spun slowly and allowed herself to sit back. Her eyes closed as she began to go through the ritual of removing her prosthetic her heart sinking until her ears were invaded with the sound of twinkling, soft familiar notes snuck under the threshold of her doorway and filled her mind with the earlier portion of her day. She felt a smile creep upon her face, and a warmth ghost her body where only moments ago the Latinas had been and she breathed a sigh that was a beauty she would never be able to deny nor forget.

'…Callie'.

Pushing herself further up the bed, and sinking underneath the covers she then pulled tight around her body she took an inhale, and closed her eyes. Her mind running overtime trying to conjure a voice she hadn't realised she missed until she found time to pause and reflect. Maybe Tim was right, maybe there was something more in this life for her, maybe she would find out what exactly, maybe she wouldn't. But she knew one thing, she had to give it try.


	4. Chapter 4

**Authors Note: Okay, Firstly I want to thank all you wonderful people who have read and reviewed this fic, it really has made me want to keep writing. I do want to apologise for my delay in posting this chapter, in all honesty it's been written for a while but I was afraid to post due to the writing style I adopted here. I even tried to have a friend look it over before I posted as I was so afraid you would hate it. I still think you all will but I have to take a chance. Its lengthy, as in description heavy and I felt that in order to access Callies character background and progression in this, it had to be done this way. But I assure you, this is not how the rest of the fic will continue, and the next chapter (which is already written and typed and will be on its way to you very very very soon) is fluffy and has interaction between our girls, coming out of the ying yang. So again, my apologies because I know some people won't like this, but I had to do it. And to those of you who forgive me, I love you all. Please stick with me I promise to make it worth your while.**

**Xxx Magically Challenged XXX**

**Chapter 4**

Callie slipped on her hoody, her hand fisted tightly around her phone, she allowed her thumb to flex, unlocking the screen in one practiced swipe and pulled down the menu to find out the temperature outdoors.

She shuddered as she read the forecast, took in the digits and pressed the button at the top of her phone before tucking it away into the communal pocket at the front of her. She took a fleeting glance around the room, the trees swaying in the quickening autumnal breeze shadowed on her polished floors, the swirling leaves and swaying branches turning solid into liquid as the floor transformed into a reflection of a river before her eyes. She allowed her gaze to remain momentarily, becoming entranced in the swirly mass of hues and the soft whisper of the autumn sneaking into the air.

Making sure all the lights were out she headed towards the door, stepping outside into the elements she felt a shiver run down her spine chasing the draft the winds had created, running the length of her spine from tip to end. She jangled the keychain hooked around her left hand and flexing her fingers she locked the door and listened for the beeping to cease. Her eyes closed she counted, 'one, two, three. Four' and with an exhale her eyelids fluttered and her muddy orbs felt the fresh night before its darkness had settled in.

She headed towards her car, reaching into her pocket and fumbling for her keys she hummed a melody as she unlocked the door and got inside. This was one thing she had come to appreciate over the last few years, the independence she had found. She felt a pang of guilt as she thought about how easy Arizonas expression had changed earlier, a smiling sense of achievement had given way to resented helplessness within seconds and there was something there, something in the way her eyes had captured Callies when they said goodbye that made the Latina want to reach out and help her. But would she ever accept it. Even Callie knew it was a dangerous road to tread, becoming someone's something, being the person to reach out a hand and help them because it could lead to amazing things, but it could also lead to complications, and eventually heartbreak and she wasn't sure that would be something she could expose herself to again, not after finally finding a peace with herself.

She began the drive home, the streetlights thinning as she inched out of the city, towards a less built up area of land. The first big pay check she had received she had bought herself a house, nothing spectacular, just a little large for a single woman. She of course had envisioned a long and healthy career, filled with nights where copious amounts of friends staying over would fade into the rooms being occupied by her lover and then eventually children, however, Callie knew all too well that sometime even the most straightforward of plans can hit an ice patch. In her case literally.

Now the house seemed oversized, spaciously excessive and on cold nights that lead into winter… lonely. She took a right and headed down a quiet back lane that separated vast fields of nothingness, until she saw a light break on the horizon. She felt her heart warm a little knowing that she was minutes from slipping into something comfortable and finding her night filled with lounging on the sofa, a glass of wine in her hand and something laughable on the television. She also felt the coldness of the truth, the reality of the words the blonde had spouted earlier, completely oblivious to the truth behind them. She had lost something, if you had asked her two years ago she would have told you she had lost everything, house notwithstanding. For a while after the accident, Callie had struggled, alone for seven years and then, today on the moving winds her luck changed.

Pulling up in front of the large house, she glanced at the lights illuminating the large oak out front, dancing in spirals around its branches. Her eyes cast over to the house, now light up thanks to the timer she had set. Stepping out of the car, she made her way over to the stoop, taking the three steps up to her porch without effort. She paused at the top, her mind reflecting on how it used to be such a task to even attempt to get up one step, so much of a task that by the time she reached the third she felt like she had climbed Everest. Her mouth upturned however as she recalled the day she first managed, to get there and the prize that had awaited her at the summit.

'You can do this' a soft voice had filled her ear, a feather-light touch pressing gently on her lower back the final push she needed in what had been a long journey to this place in time.

Callie nodded and blew out a deep breath, bracing herself with one hand on either side outstretched, just in case. She had endured more than her fair share of falls, and had worked through the mass of emotions that accompanied each, anger, disappointment, sadness, self- pity and she had emerged victorious, still clutching to the ribbons of determination. So today was the day, the day she had held on so tight for, and she placed one step in front of the other, lifting slowly and cautiously as she rocked back down.

Heel, toe, heel, toe.

It was a mantra she swore was tattooed in her memory, one that her whole body reverberated, her heart pounding out its syllables, her fingers twitching with each change in word. Then she did it, she lifted her foot, shifting her weight onto the prosthetic and something in her gave way. She began the sway that comes with learning to walk, the unsteady rock that comes with figuring out balance and with a determined look on her face, she bit her lip and pushed through till she reached the top.

She allowed a breath to escape her as she felt herself level. Her hands curling into tight fists as she realised she wasn't going to fall, and a smile covering her face so wide you could see each one of her pearly whites.

'I knew you could do it Cal… I knew it, I'm so proud of you' the voice spoke again, her voice barely above a whisper '…You really did it'

She nodded her head and let her eyes close momentarily, biting down on her lip she tilted her head to the side, she sighed 'I couldn't have done it without you Addy, I couldn't have done this without you'

Throughout this whole ordeal one thing had remained constant, her best friend and for Addison, Callie was extremely grateful. She had struggled for months, laid around in bed for so long it hurt to move. She had pushed away everyone over the years and she had no one left, so cooped up, in a hospital room for months without unobligated company she had found her ache becoming slightly less with the sound of Addison's voice. She was strong when Callie was not, urging her to sit up, to take in the beauty of the day, to stand and eventually to walk. It had been her words and her comfort that had led to this day. To Callie conquering her fears, and finally coming home.

'You did this all on your own Callie, you did all of this… you never really needed me'

The Latina let this comment slip away on the winds of change that surrounded her. The light breeze dancing over her shoulders as she prepared herself to take the next big step and enter her home. She raised a hand to the door, keys jangling like wind chimes on starry nights and she let out a whisper, a final release of everything she had been holding up inside since the accident.

'Addy I….. I miss you'

She waited a while, listening intently as the leaves fell from the large oak out front, as the sun began to set on the horizon and the warmth began to travel down her now slightly larger frame. She pushed the key into the lock and twisted, the doors opening to a dark hallway filled with memories she had long forgotten. Her breath faltering she braced herself before stepping inside, her unsteady steps sounding out on the hardwood floor as she closed the door behind her and made her way towards the living room. Once there she shuffled over to the tall lamp that stood beside the large brown corner sofa and flicked her fingers upwards illuminating the dark room. Her past springing into life as she took in her surroundings.

Two glasses, empty and gathering dust next to an unopened bottle of champagne.

A toast that never was.

A vase of once ruby red roses on the table, now a withering mass of fallen petals. She felt a sharp pain in her chest as she moved towards them. Her feet stepping over a trail of wasted welcome that had been a petal trail leading to her room.

A declaration that never was.

The past was not a road she was enjoying travelling down, and before she could think on it anymore her hands were moving involuntarily towards the vase. Holding it tight she raised it above her head and threw it in one swift motion, the shards of cerulean ceramic shattering all over the room she felt her legs give way. Falling to the floor, her body began to shake, tears falling from her eyes in pools of regret as she allowed the reality of her situation to finally sink in. She pulled her knees into her chest and began to rock back and forth soothingly, and then she felt a hand on her shoulder, the lightest of kisses on her neck and the softest of whispers in her ear. Lifting her head sharply she searched with blurry eyes but found the room as it was before. Empty except for memories and then as her head fell back to her knees she heard the voice once more.

'I miss you too Callie,… but welcome home'.

It was a memory that filled her with mixed emotions and over the years that had passed since that day, she had been through them all and now she could smile when it came around. Sometimes.

She pushed her key into the lock and twisted, stepping inside the house, a warmth rushed around her. A welcome she never forgot to savour. Placing her keys in a bowl that sat on a tall table beside her coat rack she made her way into her living room. A fire roared in the far corner, the table devoid of unused glasses and instead filled with books and enlarged photographs she had spent weeks pouring over, after coming across them in the attic.

She made her way over to the sofa, sinking into the soft seating and began to slip her shoes from her feet curling them up behind her as she made herself comfortable. She loved coming home after a long day, she loved the warmth she felt when she stepped over the threshold but she didn't enjoy the feeling of emptiness that still lingered in the air. She missed the seemingly endless parties, and the loud music that made her grateful for her lack of neighbours and the sounds of giggling happiness and clinking glasses as they would toast to Fridays and the start of the weekend. She looked up at the portrait that sat above her fireplace, two smiling faces, both preteen and blemish free , both wearing identical soft pink leotards with ruffled tutus, and both blissfully and innocently unaware of the fate their futures held.

She sighed softly as she focused in on the reflection of her younger years, the life spark in those burnt umber shaded eyes leaping off the canvas and into her reality. The soft pink in her lips, the glossy tresses of raven hair that cascaded down her back and over her shoulders in an illustrious waterfall. Her body pressed against the other, arms wrapped around the shoulders of her friend. Her best friend, whose deep red curls had made her a glorious pre-Raphaelite vision when captured in still. Her smile as wide as Callies own, the light mattering of freckles that danced over her face from cheek, to button nose, to cheek and then those eyes, a tell take sign of her mood, as the happy aqua would fade to a storm of grey on days she felt the true weight of the world. But in this captured moment, they were an ocean of happiness, of wonder and on possibility and Callie was truly thankful that this memory remained.

She reached out towards the table and picked up an image from the top of the pile, and a laugh managed to find its way into the open air, taking even Callie by surprise as she stared at the image. The same face, years older, freckles now giving way to a glowing summer tan, her red curls now cut short so they kissed her bare shoulders and her eyes closed tight as she stuck her tongue out to the photographer. Allowing her fingers to reach for other images, Callie sighed as picture after picture revealed the same smile, the same eyes, and the same love… until she grazed the bottom of the pile and her reverie gave her pause.

No curls, no laughter or smiles, no oceans of happiness were found in this picture, instead a grainy black and white still found its way into the Latinas hands and she began to break once more.

She felt her heart pound in her chest, each slow beat more agonising than the last. She heard her breath falling in staggered pleas she refused to listen to as the image began to blur under her glossy vision. She lifted herself from her seat and on shaky legs she surveyed the mess her life had become, the solitary endlessness her nights had become. Stepping slowly towards the doorway she shook her head, her fingers fumbling at the print in her hand. Relaxing her grip the still fell to the floor and Callie found herself breaking into a hurried rush to the front door, slipping into a pair of sheepskin boots and grabbing her keys in reckless abandon she exited the house without so much as looking back. Making her way blindly to her car, she opened the door and climbed behind the wheel, chest heaving and head a blur she started the ignition and made her way down the narrow road on autopilot. She had to get away, and as this was her routine most nights she trusted her instincts to get her where she needed to be.

Home was not a place where Callie could feel safe, home was not that place on top of the hill where she had planned to watch her children swing from the large oak on a tyre swing made in love and earnest. Home was not where her heart was. If she was asked in this moment where home was, Callie wasn't honestly sure she could give an honest answer. She didn't know where it was, she didn't know where her heart was, but she remembered the last time she felt its presence in her life. She remembered that all too well looking at that final image. She closed her eyes briefly and blinked away the tears that had been threatening to fall, as she tried to shake the image ingrained in her mind.

The photo that lay on the welcome mat, awaiting her eventual return.

Hands clasped, fingers entwined, bodies flush and a hybrid waterfall of midnight and sunrise veiling what was clearly a first kiss. A photograph that had crept silently and stealthily into her memories, one she had tried to suppress for the longest time. She felt her stomach churn, her palms clam up and the salt of loss on her lower lip and she broke. Shoulders shaking she drove a while until she pulled up outside the studio, slipping from the car, into the large room. Its darkness welcoming her like a mothers hug, she moved to the middle of the floor and began to move. Soft swaying motions, her waist dipping and her eyes clenches shut so tight she saw rainbows behind her eyelids.

She span, twisting in circles too tight to retain, too fast to control until she missed her footing and collapsed in a heap on the hardwood floor. Her fists curling as she lifted a hand and brought it down hard beside her, repeating this rise and fall until she felt a pain shooting through her hand, up her arm and right to where she needed to feel it the most. Her heart.

She curled into a ball, knees to her chest and arms holding herself, and in the streaming light of the full moon, it happened, a whispered name fell from her lips, one she never expected to find freedom and in that instant Callie gave in to her pain. She finally admitted to herself what she had lost, what she had experienced, what she had known for the longest time. Her mind cast back to earlier, to Arizona, and the emotion she had felt when she had held her close. Sometime had caused a reaction inside her, something about the way the blonde looked at her, had brought Callies own vulnerability to the forefront, and as much as she wanted to push it away, store it right back where she had kept it for a long time, she knew she wouldn't be able to. The moment she saw the blonde again it would rise up once more, like a beckoning wave it would sweep her up and encompass her completely.

She swallowed a breath and with the lingering feeling of the blonde in her arms, the almost taste of her lips, Callie realised she felt something she never thought she would feel again, the daunting, terrifying, uncertain possibility of love and with this acknowledgment she finally came undone.


	5. Chapter 5

**Authors Note: I'm so sorry this took so long to update, life kind of got in the way this week and I've been training and mumming my backside off and therefore my writing has suffered. This chapter is the beginning of all the Calzona interactions, yes I'm about to step into land unknown and cross the border into noreturnsville. I hope you all enjoy this instalment and I promise to update sooner. So sorry again for making you all wait, please stick with it. You're awesome!**

**Xx Magically Challenged XX**

**Chapter 5**

She lay there in the stillness of her surroundings, the world outside her window a soundtrack of birds singing their morning greetings and the crunch of autumn beneath the feet of school children heading to the bus stop. She hated mornings, and loved them at the same time. She loved the peaceful tranquillity of normality, and she hated the inane normality of peaceful tranquillity. She was at odds with herself, and she didn't know how she managing it, but she had to keep pushing through.

Shuffling further down beneath the sheets, a warmth working its way up her arms and to her shoulders, she nuzzled her face into her pillow. Her eyes closing briefly as she allowed the urge to fall back asleep, take over. She shifted, rocking her body side to side in order to find a position of comfort to assist her in her mission but it was to no avail as the rapping of knuckles against her bedroom door startled her from her state.

'Arizona, can you get up and get ready. She'll be here in an hour and I need you to be ready…'

She gritted her teeth, mumbling under her breath as she gripped the cover with her hand and pulled it up and over her mess of blonde curls. She closed her eyes tight and curled herself into a ball, thighs pressed against her front, her last line of defence in this war against the world outside her bed.

'Arizona…' his voice came again, an unwelcome tone of annoyance slipping under the doorway, creeping through the warm air and under the covers like an ice cold touch, unwelcome, unwanted. She mumbled again under the covers, her voice shielded through the thick tog, causing him to push through the doorway and into her space '… I said, get up and get ready' he spat, his annoyance clear now as his head shook and his trembling hands gripped her sheets and pulled them from her body, leaving her exposed.

'What the hell Tim?' she shouted, glaring at him as she pushed herself into a sitting position and attempted to pull the sheets back over herself. He tugged as she pulled, to an onlooker it would resemble a fight between two siblings much younger in age, a teenage act of sibling love, on closer inspection the hurt and intolerance in their eyes would have revealed the truth. With one swift tug, Tim's hands loosened from the sheets and he threw his hands up in the air in defeat, tired of this game.

'I'm done Arizona, I'm not playing anymore, ' he ran his hands through his hair and let out a sigh, his gaze falling to the floor '… get up and get ready'

'I'm not ready…I'm not going to be ready Tim, I don't want to do this today,' she huffed, pushing herself over to the side of the bed and fumbling with the leg of her pyjama bottoms, rolling it up until the bottom of her thigh was exposed. She heard a hiss escape her brothers lips, and she didn't have to look up to know he was staring she could feel his gaze burning through her, it hurt more than any pain she had felt so far. She reached for the prosthetic that stood beside her bed, dragging it towards her and fumbling, fitted it to her body under his watchful, pitiful gaze. She felt tears stinging at her eyes, and a heaviness in her heart, but she blew a breath between her lips and forced a stern look to her face as she turned her head towards her brother. He stood there, mouth agape, hands at his sides and reality hitting him hard in the face had caused him to double over, body bent at the stomach as he took it all in '…Just get out Tim… just leave'.

He didn't move, for a moment the silence was deafening as he closed his eyes tight and tried to settle the churning in his stomach, tried to calm the overwhelming feeling of grief and disparity that coursed through his body. Her voice brought him from his musing, startling him and causing him to step backwards to avoid a pillow flying from her direction towards him as she shouted with everything she could muster up so early in the morning.

'JUST LEAVE TIM… JUST GO!'

As he left the room pulling the door closed behind him, she allowed her shoulders to slump, her hands to fall to her sides and the tears to fall from her betraying eyes. Gripping either side of her she pushed herself into an upright position slowly, allowing herself a moment to gain some kind of balance before making her way cautiously towards the bathroom. She found her slow motions stilled as she caught a glimpse of herself in the full length mirror to her side. Her blurry gaze taking in the sight before them, like a mosaic of the person she used to be, each piece separated by nothingness, her life was incomplete. She reached a hand forward, fingertips gently tracing the reflection of her own face, the bow of her trembling lips and the soft curl that hung at the side of her face. She felt her heartbeat slowing as she traced the path down her slender frame towards her legs, the metal lower limb shining in the morning sunlight. It radiated a paradoxical mix of hope and hopelessness, and brought about a feeling of anxiety that Arizona fought hard to push back down. Dragging herself away from her reflection she made her way towards the bathroom, taking too large a step she felt her body sway and her arms flew up to find purchase on the doorframe and door handle, she shook her head and took a deep breath, straightening herself up and making her way towards the shower. No, she definitely wasn't ready.

Minutes passed and a knock sounded on the door to the apartment, breaking her from her post shower reverie. She listened intently, pulling her jeans up and fastening the button as her brother greeted the person on the other side.

'Hi there, you must be Timothy, I'm Andee Meadows, the new day nurse…' the voice lilted at the end as if uncertain of the statement she made. Shoulders slumping, Arizona let out a sigh of annoyance as she pulled her shirt over her head and shook her hair free so it hung around her shoulders.

'Great,' she thought to herself as she heard the conversation continue outside of her room, '…just what I need, another cheerful know it all'. The past few day nurses had been too eager for Arizona to walk, too eager for her to participate in the day to day toll that was her life, and for months all she had wanted was to be left alone but they pushed and pushed, despite her declining social graces until the day she had enough, and she fired them. She had worked her way through so many, that now she didn't remember their names, nor their faces. But their tones, their expectant, happy go lucky, nauseating tones, those remained in her subconscious no matter how hard she tried to forget them, they remained.

She could tell instantly, that the moment she left the sanctuary of her room she would be subjected to an overly friendly introduction from a bubble gum popping, candy sweet smiling nurse who probably fuelled her moods with pixie sticks and high energy drinks, and Arizona couldn't handle that. So she stalled, stood at the bottom of her bed, eyes darting around the room looking for another distraction to help her remain where she was, where she was comfortable. She had already made the bed, folded all her clothes into the wash hamper and straightened her room. She had considered the possibility of climbing out the window, and making a break for it, but she knew that would end in disaster, after all she was still working out the kinks in her new leg, it still pinched a little as she walked and abseiling would have only made it hurt even more, but she had given it serious thought.

She heard footsteps nearing her doorway and her heart froze, breath catching in her throat as she door handle lowered and her brother stepped inside.

'We've been waiting a while now Arizona, you can't stay in here all day it's rude…' Arizona felt a snort of derision escape her at her brother's words, his view of her rudeness contrasting completely to her own. She waved him away with hand, and began to move around the room slowly, inching away from him with each step she shuffled.

'I'm not five years old Tim, I don't need this, I don't need you constantly pressuring me, I don't need a babysitter' she rambled, moving towards the door and picking up a jacket and flinging it around her back and slipping her arms inside. She could feel it building up inside her, bubbling away, pounding in her eardrums, fight or flight, fight or flight, and since she could barely hold herself upright without complete concentration she decided to stop fighting and break into a run, or at least a steady stride. She pushed her way past her brother, her shoulder hitting Tims causing him to turn on the spot and continue his preaching.

'She's not a sitter Arizona, she's here to help you with the things I can't… she's here to,' he threw his hands up in exasperation as his sister halted in her steps and dropped her gaze to the floor.

'I know why she is here Tim and I don't need her help,'

'I'm sorry, I couldn't help but overhear, I um, I'm not here to get in your way…' the woman spoke, standing from the sofa where she sat and edging closer to Arizona. Holding out a hand in an attempt at a greeting and also an olive branch of sorts she smiled lightly and nodded her head acceptingly. Arizonas hands remained fisted in tight balls at her side and she bit down so hard on lip she tasted the metallic sting of blood filling her mouth.

'Then get out of it…' she spat, mustering up all the courage she could find, stepping towards the woman, a light wash of relief coming over her as the brunette stepped aside and allowed her to pass. She made her way to the door grabbing her cane and using it to take some of the weight she was struggling to carry. She was exhausted and she hadn't even crossed the threshold, but something in her propelled her forwards, something deep inside her forced her legs forward and she unclipped the door and stepped out into the hallway, her brother right behind her.

'Arizona, where are you going?' the blonde turned her head, craning to look back at her brother, who stood side by side with the day nurse, a mixture of persistence and annoyance, a team she knew she couldn't take on today.

She shook her head and gripped the metal rod tighter, her knuckles turning white as she breathed her admittance into the air. 'I can't do this… I can't, I told you I wasn't ready and you just keep pushing me Tim. Just stop it! Leave me alone, just let me go'

'Where are you going?' he asked once more not moving, the desperation in his sisters voice was enough to hold him static in the doorway. Turning away from him she lifted a foot and took a step towards the elevator, the clipping of her boots counting each movement of independence she made.

'I need to just…. Please just let me go' her voice carried down the empty hallway, back to the ears of the people who stood and watched in silence as she pressed the button to the elevator and stepped inside.

'I'm sorry, she's not normally like this she's normally so… so…this just isn't her' Tim apologised turning back to the brunette who had now made her way back inside the apartment and was lifting her purse and coat from the sofa. She lifted her gaze to Tim and smiled, her head tilting slightly as she opened her mouth to speak.

'Or maybe it is, I mean, maybe it's who she is now. She's been through so much and she's going through so much and none of it is how it used to be, none it will ever be how it used to be. So maybe she's a little different now…' she noticed his eyes close and his shoulders fall in defeat '… you really expected her to be the same?'

'Yes… no… I don't know,' he stated, walking slowly towards to the door, shrugging his shoulders and shaking his head he finally admitted his fear, more to himself than to Andee 'I guess I just expected to still know her …at least a little'.

Life passes us by so fast that we often don't find the time to appreciate the wonder of it all. We don't take time to admire the admirable, to appreciate the soft colours of a sunrise, or the heart-warming laughter of a child on a swing-set. We take our days for granted, even though we live day to day in an uncertainty. We close our eyes to the possibility that we might not get tomorrow, we cling to the certainty that we will get the chance to do things later. But there comes a day, when we are confronted with the possibility that tomorrow might not come, there comes a day when we have to understand that we are truly blessed each and every day we are here. We have to appreciate the beauty that each day holds, and live every day to the fullest.

As she walked through the park she felt each step she took. Rushing out of the apartment block she had been so worked up that her mind hadn't registered where her steps where leading her and then she heard it, laughter. The normality of the day had crept up on her like a shadow and she found herself slowing down and taking in her surroundings. The leaves that filled the pathway crunched happily under her feet, the faint smell of freshly ground coffee filled the air, from the cart across the way, and the sound of children playing caused her to stop in her tracks and just take a moment. She hadn't heard laughter like this in a long time, giggles that exploded into chuckles that shook stomachs and caused toddlers to fall to the floor unable to control both their ability to walk and laugh at the same time. She smiled, and continued to walk towards the main gates, each step now a little bit harder, and the cold air finding its way through her thin jacket, causing her to shiver involuntarily.

Heading towards the studio, she wondered how her arrival would be interpreted by the Latina behind the doors. She knew she had been invited, but she hadn't intended to take her up on the offer and she wasn't sure why but when her auto pilot had engaged she had found herself making her way here. Crossing the street, Arizona headed for the double doors of the studio and lifted a hand to her forehead as she peered inside. It was empty, no music slipped under the doorway, no lights lit up the hardwood dance floor and for a moment her stomach flipped with the idea that the Latina must have forgotten and then she saw it. A figure curled up on the ground, a shadow unfurling and rising into a sitting position, two hands moving towards a face and then shoulders shaking. She allowed her free hand to rap lightly on the glass and she stepped back as she allowed the Latina the privacy she obviously needed in getting to her feet.

'Arizona?,' she breathed, as she opened the doors slightly shielding herself from the elements. Rocking back and forth on her heels Arizona gritted her teeth as the warmth of the studio washed over her. She wrapped one arm around herself in a hug and tried to avoid eye contact with the Latina but it was no use, lifting her gaze she noticed Callie had been crying, her eyes were red and puffy, and her eyelids heavy. The Latina looked worriedly at the blonde who was shaking still, and she noted for the first time that the blonde was at eye level and without her wheelchair ' you're freezing, did you walk here?'

'Believe me I'm as amazed as you are' Arizona laughed, trying to pull her coat tighter around her frame as a small gust of wind blew her hair over her shoulder. Callie mentally kicked herself for making her wait outside and took a step back, one hand reaching out to help the blonde over the raised threshold.

'Come in, ' she smiled her fingers finding the cool fabric of the blondes jacket, hand sliding up her arm until it found her elbow and guided her further into the room ' here… let me'

'I can do it' Arizona stated, immediately, shrugging her shoulders and immediately wincing as she felt the Latinas hand move from her elbow to around her waist as she stepped inline and took most of the blondes weight

'I know… 'Callie acknowledged with a nod of her head, completely aware of how much she was pushing the blonde, but not quite ready to forgo her manners. Her hand cupped Arizonas hip as she pulled her closer and began walking towards her office '…doesn't mean I'm not going to offer you my help though. How far did you walk?'

'From my apartment on third…' she admitted, chewing her lip absentmindedly as they diverted away from the dance floor and headed to a small room down the hallway.

'Damn Arizona that's closing two miles… does it hurt?' It surprised even the Latina to hear the concern dancing through her question, she knew the answer without asking, of course it hurt, most days it hurt even when you hadn't taken a step.

'A little,' the blonde lied, looking down at her leg and gritting her teeth at the throbbing that had started where the skin met the plastic socket '… okay a lot, could I… sit down?' She glanced around her, trying her best to keep her eyes anywhere but on the stunned face of the beautiful Latina who was holding her up. She noticed frames filled the walls, pictures of small children, smiling faces surrounded by a plethora of cotton candy pink. Two preteen boys leaping through the air on a graceful wind that looked as free as she was sure they felt in that moment and as they came to the big wooden door emblazoned with the Latinas name she felt a gasp escape her clamped lips at the picture that hung next to it.

It was beautiful, she was beautiful, a smile so wide it became the focal point of the frame. Long raven hair spiralling over her rich mocha shoulders, eyes so brown she could have sworn they had never suffered the dilution of a tear. She was younger, more care free, it was there in the way she held herself. Poised perfection, a true beauty, breathtakingly stunning and it made Arizona smile to see her like this, her heart sped up a little and a sadness crept in as she wondered if maybe that was the last time the Latina had smiled that way, had felt that way the reality hurt Arizonas heart.

'Of course, I'm sorry… here you go' Callie led her over towards a chair and held on as the blonde lowered herself to a sitting position, letting out a breath she hadn't realised she had been holding as she felt the stress of holding herself up float away. Callie took a step back once she was sure the blonde was seated and she made her way to the coffee machine situated on her desk, '…you know I'm thankful you came today…'

'Yeah? Why is that?'

'I could really use another set of hands… this place is a mess' she motioned in mid-air with her hand and Arizona allowed her eyes to finally take in the rest of the room. Papers were piled high all over the desk bearing headings like 'progress report mixed in with masses of unopened bills and empty takeaway cartons.

'You do all of this yourself?' Arizona asked, biting her lip awkwardly as Callie crossed the room and stood before her.

'I don't do it at all, normally which I think is the problem' she giggled nervously, watching as the blonde began to laugh silently at her confession and she quickly recovered '… but today you are going to help me. You are going to help me right?'

'What do you need me to do?' She asked, her voice becoming breathy as the Latina inched closer with a smirk on her face and a cup in her hand. She allowed her gaze to follow the path down Callies body, making a mental note that she was still wearing the same clothes as she had on yesterday, and yet still managed to smell and look amazing, even with her hair scraped up into a hairband. She felt her breath hitch as she noticed Callie's lips forming a smile, with each step closer her hands tightening around the cup as she held it out in front of her.

'First I think we should get you warm, and possibly caffeinated. Here let me take that' she stated nodding towards Arizona's jacket, waiting patiently while the blonde shrugged it from her shoulder 'and you take this…' pushing the cup forward she tilted her head as the blonde brought it to her mouth and took a sip.

'Thank you'

Turning on her heels and heading towards the door Callie began to hang up the jacket before walking back over towards the blonde who sat patiently, her hands wrapped tightly around the cup of steaming coffee.

'No, thank you. I had almost resigned myself to another lonely day. I mean you've saved me from having to eat alone again…' Callie shook her head in embarrassment at her rambling.

'We're going to eat? This looks like an awful lot of work' Arizona teased, hoping her attempt at humour wouldn't fall flat on its face. It didn't and she was rewarded with a small laugh that warmed her quicker than any hard liquor or roaring fire.

'I'm sure we can find time to schedule in lunch I mean, that's if you want to stay…' there it was again, uncertainty. In a way it made Arizona want to walk over and hug the Latina, ask her why she was curled up on the floor when she arrived, ask her why she felt the way she obviously did. More than anything it made her want to ask how long it takes to get over what happened to them, and If it ever got any easier but she didn't really want to hear the answers. Not yet. She couldn't open herself up like that, as easy as it seemed it was the hardest thing to do, no matter how much her head and heart kept pushing her to do so.

Instead, she did the next best thing, she reached out her hand and as the warmth of the Latinas own hand filled her palm she felt stronger than she had in months, stronger than she thought she ever would be. There was something there, between them, lingering in the air waiting to be discovered and as she lifted her gaze and blue met brown, she knew she was where she needed to be, she let out a breath and held on a little tighter as she spoke.

'Callie… I'm not going anywhere'.


	6. Chapter 6

**Authors note: Alas, again here we are having waited for this chapter for far too long, I apologise once more. I hope it was worth the wait, Thank You to those loyal readers who stick with me despite the fluctuation in my posting times. There's a little something for you all at the end of the chapter, I hope it's enough for now.**

**Please keep being awesome**

**Xxx Magically Challenged xxx**

**Chapter 6**

Tension can linger in air like an unwelcome guest, intrusive no matter how silent, and sometimes it's just better to hold up our hands, let go of the pretences and welcome the proverbial elephant into the room.

The silence had lingered for close to a half hour, each sitting comfortably on either side of her large maple desk, engrossed in the mammoth task of separating the brown envelopes containing bills and other important documents, from the masses of paperwork Callie had just neglected to file away.

Occasionally one would look up from the sea of lessening chaos and stole a fleeting glance across the table, before averting their eyes as the others lifted to echo the motion. It was supposed to be nonchalant and discreet but Callie could feel Arizonas gaze on her, like a warm embrace she couldn't resist melting into, and Arizona could feel Callies chocolate brown stare like a gust of wind with the ability to leave her breathless.

Arizona's hands shuffled the array of envelopes, the masses of mocha a stark contrast to her fair skin, and a reminder of the beautiful woman sat across the wooden block. A small smile crept up onto her face as she imagined a tanned hand, fingers interlocking with hers instead of the rough recycled paper sitting in her palm. She imagined warmth radiating from their pressed palms, and shared smiles as blue met brown in a hazy swirl of adoration. A purposeful cough woke her from her daydream, bringing the corners of her mouth to rest on the horizon of her now pursed lips as she glanced across the way.

Callie was staring at her with a questioning look, one eyebrow raised and head tilted in curiosity. Shaking off the remnants of the daydream Arizona straightened her back and continued to reach into the now smaller mess, and gathering more envelopes.

'So…' Callie began, shaking head lightly as she continued to stare questioningly at the blonde '… do you want to tell me what you're running from?'

She didn't allow her gaze to fall, her words finally taking wings and flying through the air and straight to the ears of the blonde who just continued to busy herself and search through the pile even though it was visible that no more envelopes remained unsorted.

'Excuse me?' Arizonas' voice was small and Callie knew she hadn't been misheard but she asked once again.

'Earlier…' she added, placing the papers down in a neat pile on her desk and motioning towards the doorway '… what made you run here?' she noticed that the blonde was now holding her breath, her eyes cast downwards and a look on her face that hurt Callies heart. Quickly deciding she had maybe pushed it too far she decided to try and save herself but instead her words came out hurried and her tone wavered as she grasped at straws 'It's just that , um…when I invited you yesterday your boyfriend didn't look like he thought it was a good idea, in fact he looked pretty menacing,' she tapered off as the blonde raised her head quickly, eyes wide and her lips now stretched into a smile that gave way to a small giggle '…what's so funny?' Callie asked, her perplexed look now falling into that of complete confusion.

'He's my brother' Arizona giggled, her laughter becoming harder to silence as she watched Callies mouth fall wide open and embarrassment creep a red flush onto her face.

'Oh', the sounds fell from her lips and went unheard as the blonde continued to laugh as she revelled in Callies mistaken musings and also at the memory of her brothers face the previous day.

'The menacing look was because in his everyday life, no one would have dared to dream of answering him back like you did… not without being on the end of a punishment' she brought her hands to her stomach willing the laughter to circulate there instead of bursting out into the open, she bit her lip as her shoulders began to still.

'What is he, some sort of male dominatrix?' Callie instantly regretted her words as she watched the blondes' eyes widen and her mouth open, a hearty laughter now escaping her shaking frame. She watched as Arizona raised a hand to bang on the desk, her fit of giggles completely taking over her body leaving her short of breath, panting as she brought her laughter glossed gaze up to view the Latina in front of her. Sensing Callie's embarrassment she cleared her throat and composed herself,

'He's a soldier, Captain actually, United States Marine Corp' her voice sobered at the mention of her brothers occupation, a sadness weaving its way through her words not going unnoticed by Callie.

'Oh' she whispered once more, noticing the sadness on Arizonas face and feeling regret at her words. This time her voice reached the ears of the blonde who instantly reached across the table, palm flattening over her hand.

'It's okay Callie, relax. You aren't the first to call it wrong. Tims just been a little, uptight since he got home. This,' she gestured towards her lap, her eyes filling with uncried tears '… this has been a little too much for him to take I guess. He seems to think it's his duty to make sure all loose ends are tied up before he leaves again next week'

Callie felt a lump in her throat at this revelation, completely unaware as to how much Arizona was still dealing with. Her own family hadn't so much as called her since she turned eighteen and so when her accident had occurred she hadn't had to deal with the expectations of others, just her own. She pulled her hand away from the hold that the blonde had so easily slipped into, watching Arizonas eye widen at the loss of their touch before softening her gaze as Callie slid her hand back towards her, this time entwining their fingers. They both stared at their hands, this joining meaning something and everything to each of them, a gesture of support, a sign of a need neither had dared to express so boldly and yet they were willing and content to sit like this. However long it lasted.

Smiling, Callie lifted her gaze from their hands, her head nodding slowly as she urged the blonde ton continue 'So that means…'

'Yeah,' Arizona started, a waver dancing in the background of her tone, threatening to move forward into visibility with each word she spoke '…today he tried to introduce me to day nurse number eight and I just, I couldn't do it' her eyes closed tight she shook her head, blonde hair falling in front of her face, a curtain to hide the tears now starting to rolls slowly down her pallid cheeks. Feeling a gentle squeeze from Callies' hand, she sniffed slightly and continued '… I couldn't stay. How can he expect me to… to just open up to someone about this? To talk through something so personal, with some stranger and accept their help? To trust them?', her voice had started to climb plateaus, her words shaking with an emotion Callie knew all too well, anger. Until her final sentence came out in such a shout that it caused even her own eyes to open wide 'Do you know how hard it is to feel some incompetent, so incapable in your own home? It's hard…all the time' she admitted, swallowing as the salty tears found her lips.

A momentary silence lingered between the two women, before Arizona lifted her head and shook her hair away from her face. Looking over at Callie she knew she had touched on something very real and very raw still, the Latina was on the precipice of tears herself, and she was chewing her lip in an attempt to keep her feelings to herself. Then in one swift movement, one gentle tightening of their still joined hands Callie took the first step in meeting Arizona half way, she sighed and nodded, her raven curls dancing around her shoulders as she spoke '…I know exactly how that feels'.

It was the simplest of admissions and yet Callie felt a huge weight leave her shoulders, she took a sharp intake of breath and managed to find a smile. Her grip tightening on the blondes hand as she reassured her without words this time that she wasn't alone. Arizona felt her breathing steady, her tears still falling slowly down her face, she reached her free hand up to wipe them away before her lips continued to spill freely the secrets she had locked away behind those eyes.

'I'm sorry', the blonde apologised, regaining her composure and matching the Latinas smile.

Shaking her head Callie began to speak, something inside of her trusting the woman before her, making her want to share her experience. 'You don't have to be. It's hard, all of this is hard and this is just one of those times when it is extra hard. It's embarrassing and humiliating and it's heart-breaking, ' she glanced at the blonde, whose gaze had shifted now and was looking anywhere but directly in front of her and so she gave Arizonas hand another gentle reassuring squeeze in her attempts to regain her focus '… being that, vulnerable. As able bodied adults we had taken too much for granted, it's hard to have that taken away. But asking for help isn't a sign of weakness or defeat, and accepting help shows a willing that personally I find admirable,' it worked, the blondes eyes lifted and met Callies darkened stare '…It shows how strong you are, that you are ready to push forward and move on'

'Do you think I was wrong for leaving?' Arizona asked, not really wanting to hear the answer but asking anyway. She was already cursing herself inwardly, what Callie had said really hit home, and she spoke so easily about things Arizona was afraid to admit to even herself. She was ashamed, more so than anything else. She had always been fiercely independent and to have that taken away, or at least in Callies opinion, challenged, it was heart-breaking.

'No,' Callie confirmed, shaking her head '…I think he was wrong to push you. I would say the fact you've had so many applicants dismissed means that maybe you aren't ready just yet' she watched the blondes shoulder slump, her posture flatten at Callies admission, her confirmation of everything she had been telling herself for endless days now. It was hard to hear someone acknowledge your shortcomings, and Arizona knew before she asked the question that she hadn't wanted to hear the answer, but what she wasn't prepared for was Callies continuation '… but Arizona, you just walked, really walked, over two miles to see a stranger in a dance studio'

'I did…' it was a barely audible whisper but she could feel it stirring in her heart, she could feel her shoulders lifting slightly and Callie, noticing this continued, lowering her head and locking their eyes once more.

'And you accepted my help… you've opened up to me' her words fell softly into the open, her lips parted ready to dispense more words of support if needed. But they weren't. Instead a revelation fell from the blonde's lips as she shrugged her shoulders and sighed.

'It's different somehow, you're different' she acknowledged the Latina with a slight nod of her head, pulling her hand away slowly as she felt a frustration rising up inside of her.

'How?', Callie asked, eager not only to push Arizona but to help her, she had once read it is only in taking leaps of faith we can truly begin to understand. What she was asking Arizona to do, in opening up was asking her to take a leap of faith. The blonde allowed her hands to come up into the air, palms raised towards the skies as she brought her head down to rest in them.

'Believe me I'm trying to figure that out too,' she stated, watching as Callie began to lean back in her seat, her own hand slipping back from their meeting place on the table top. Her eyes averting the ocean blue gaze of the blonde as she began to busy herself again in an attempt to focus on something other than the elephant still in the room. Arizona notices the nervous energy and doubt her actions have created in the Latina, and pressing both hands on either side of the table she pushes herself into an upright position, finding her balance before rounding the table and standing at Callie side '…it just feels… easy, it's easy to talk to you, to be here'.

'Even with the mess?' Callie joked, looking up at Arizona with glistening eyes. She hears a chuckle follow a snort from the blonde and she relaxes.

'Even with the mess,' Arizona stated, looking around the new fairly cleaner room, the empty takeaway cartons now filling a trash bag, threatening to burst from its stuffed seams. Letting her eyes skim over the now organised maple table, she marvelled in the newness they had managed to create in such a short time and she smiled, wondering if more time spent in the presence of the Latina could help bring a newness to the messy parts of her life. Of one thing she was sure, things became clearer when she with her, when she was here. She just had to figure out why, but she was honestly beginning to look forward to the journey '… Callie?'

'Yeah?' the Latina asks, tilting her head to the side in curiosity.

'He stares at me and all I see is disgust and pity, he's never looked at me like that before, it hurts… more than any of this, the way he looks at me… it hurts'

Callie doesn't know what to say, she feels her words refusing to form a coherent sentence, her heart is pounding loudly at the blondes admission, at her open vulnerability. She sucks in a breath and feels it leave her in shallow rushes, her mind begging her heart not to break at the sight before her. Her hands trembling as she uses all of her reasoning to refrain from reaching out and pulling the beautiful blonde into her arms and rocking her into a reassurance. She clenches her fists and manages to shakily get to her feet, her body straightening as her eyes travel up the expanse of the woman before her. Stepping towards her slowly she feels a heady rush, her lids become heavy and her mouth dry, the effects of Arizona evidently taking their toll on her.

'Have you ever thought that maybe he feels guilty. You're his sister, maybe he thinks he should have protected you better, maybe it's not pity you see in his eyes, maybe its guilt?' the words fall from her lips in a sentence she isn't sure she's speaking aloud until she notices Arizona eyes widen.

'Guilt… but we never served together, he couldn't have protected me from this' she knows this is the truth, but there's a niggling feeling deep in her stomach, beneath the pride and the pig-headedness she knows she possesses in buckets full, way beneath the façade of strength she has portrayed over the past few years, there's the feeling that she always tried to hide. The need to be taken care of, the need to be protected, the need to be so important to someone, to be so loved that she could come to no harm. That she would always be safe. She knew the Latinas words rang true, and it hurt to acknowledge it, but she had spent many nights wondering if when she has signed up to offer her life for her country, if she really been creating an opportunity for her brother to step in and take charge. To dismiss her actions, and protect her.

She had told herself at the age of nine, watching as they brought her father home to her draped in war glory and a star spangled banner that she didn't need protecting, she needed to protect. But in this moment, she willingly let the thought enter her heart that she too needed to be safe, deserved to be safe, deserved to be saved.

'You served?' Callies' voice broke her from her reverie, causing her to swallow the lump in her throat that was her fathers' name and turn back to the conversation at hand. She nodded solemnly as her hands fisted at her sides.

'I did… two tours of Afghanistan and then, well this happened' she glanced at the plastic socket now attached to her thigh, a sympathetic glance that she knew the raven haired Latina would share.

'I'm sorry' Callie admitted, only she wasn't sure what she was apologising for. Her head told her it was because in doing something incredibly selfless Arizona had lost a part of herself she couldn't get back, but her heart… that told her a whole other story. There was a strong urge in Callie to step forward and she did, closing the space between their bodies and she allowed herself a moment to take in the sight before her. Arizona was a few inches smaller than herself, which meant that her forehead was the perfect height for kissing. Which meant that it would be easy for her to open her arms and allow the blonde to hear the beating of her heart from the safety of her embrace. She reached out her hand, fingers gently finding the blondes chin as she angled Arizonas' now heady gaze to meet her own.

'Yeah, me too' the blonde mumbled softly, lost in the warmth of the woman before her. Her hands no longer fisted in tight frustration, instead they were lax at her sides, as she took a step closer and closed her eyes.

Lowering her head Callie felt a tingling washing over her body, her fingers lifting Arizonas head further as she came within a breath of tasting her lips. She inhaled sharply as she felt the blondes warm hands find her hips in a steadying hold that caused her to drop her head further, barely tasting the remain of salty secrets on Arizonas lips as she whispered.

'I have a feeling this is a conversation we should be having over a better cup of coffee than I can offer here. Do you want to go grab some lunch, there's a diner around the corner that I swear should be selling coffee I.V's'

'It's that good?' the blonde spoke, her voice a barely audible breath falling from her waiting lips. Her fingers dancing lightly up the Latinas sides causing a low moan to escape her betraying mouth.

'It's even better than you're imagining, I promise' Callie smiled, her lips now teasing Arizonas as she pulled her head back slightly and moved her hands to cover the blondes. Neither willing to push to the next obvious step, both thoroughly enjoying the simplicity and the intensity of the situation it didn't come as a surprise when Callie felt the blonde move upwards, completely bypassing her lips and instead bringing her mouth to her ear, a smile heard through her whispered words.

'What are we waiting for?'


	7. Chapter 7

**Authors Note: I know a lot of people (myself included) have probably thought I have given up on this fic. I haven't I just… couldn't find my Calzona muse. She went on vacation midway through writing this chapter and when she came back I swear she isn't the same. I'm so sorry for the wait. I hope it was worth it. I tried to make this one a little longer, but alas its quality not quantity that matters. **

**Again, I'm super sorry. **

**XXX Magically Challenged XXX**

**Chapter 7**

The Seattle wind hit them the moment they exited the studio, a wash of chills that left trails of goosebumps up Callies' arms despite the hoody she still wore. She made a mental note to try and make it home while the daylight still remained, and take a shower, the feint smell of her perfume the only part of her that felt fresh. She shuddered as the cold air snuck in the opening of her hoody and danced a path down her spine. Pulling her sleeves down over her hands and gripping the material in tight fists she allowed herself a moment to suck in a deep breath, expelling it in one elongated yawn that was a certainty of her exhaustion. She felt the warm gaze of the blonde who stood on the sidewalk, resting her weight on her cane, eyes narrowing from the lingering pain she felt where the socket connected with her flesh, one arm crooked around her middle holding her jacket closed. Stepping towards her, Callie allowed her arm to snake through the gap between Arizonas arm and stomach, linking their arms together.

'I can make it around the corner Callie', the blonde stated defensively, her stomach straddling the lines of excitement and annoyance at this action. Looking over to meet the Latinas gaze she suddenly felt her annoyance slip away as she noticed Callies eyes divert to the floor nervously.

'Oh, I know. I'm um, I'm not holding onto you because I don't think you can do it, I'm actually in need of a little support myself,' she admitted, her voice wavering as she allowed a little bit of herself to come undone, her head shaking slowly as she mentally berated herself for allowing her weakness to show. She cleared her throat and glanced back up into those surprised blue eyes '… I'm a bit unsteady; it's been a rough kind of week.'

Nodding slowly, Arizona began to move forward one step at a time, the cane tapping out their pace like a metronome. She offered a small smile to the Latina, biting her lip as her mind flickered back to the vision she saw earlier. A small form curled up on the hardwood, alone, desperate, shaking in despair. She felt her heart pick up pace, beating so loud it almost drowned out the surrounding everyday sounds of the city. Generally she would welcome this feeling, but today she just wanted to allow her ears the pleasure of normalcy, the whirring of rushing cars, the idle chatter of the rest of Seattle's' inhabitants and the velvet tones of a certain caramel skinned woman who felt good pressed up against her side. She swallowed and opened her mouth 'Is that why you were asleep in the studio when I came this morning?'.

'You saw that huh?', her head dropping as they came to the end of the street and rounded the corner. Her stomach bottomed out, shame creeping up on her in a flush of prickly heat that stung her cheeks and caused tears to burn in her eyes.

'No,' Arizona quickly countered, pulling the Latinas arm closer and squeezing gently '… I think I should probably let you know that I didn't see you crying either,' she claimed passively, not really wanting to add insult to injury but also wanting (without being forthright and saying it), to let Callie know it was a subject she could talk about with her. She watched as those dark brown eyes closed, her full mocha lips meeting in what had to possibly be the saddest smile Arizonas heart had ever witnessed, she began again ' I'm sorry this has all been about me; I forgot to ask if you were okay'.

Tilting her head slightly, to try and capture Callies attention she watched the Latinas face move through a range of expressions, she saw the truth on her face, saw how her chocolate brown eyes closed over to reveal lids darkened with lack of comfortable sleep, soft sighing breaths escape her as her shoulders shook and her resolve threatened to fall apart. Arizona felt her chest tighten at the sight of her this way, and she felt the urge to pause in their step and take Callie into her arms and soothe her. She was quickly moved from this thought as she watched Callie straighten up and sniff sharply, her tone dropping as she pursed her mouth and nodded in a way that would have suggested her certainty.

'I'm okay…. I uh, I'm okay' she let her arm drop from the blondes hold, and took a step away the air separating them suddenly filled with the thick tension they had left behind at the studio. She cleared her throat and averted her gaze as she clicked her tongue and announced their arrival.

Looking at the building before them Arizona noticed they had stopped at an end lot, retro fitted diner, cracked beige paint covered its expanse. Two small ficus plants sit on either side of the entrance, the only green in a city of amber, they held her gaze longer than they probably should have.

'So this is it?' she mumbled rather than asked, stepping towards the door and waiting for any sign of confirmation from the Latina, a shrug or a grunt, instead the silence that had been lingering a few steps behind them had caught up and was pushing its disgruntled self into the spotlight. Callie nodded and moved towards the door, holding it open and gaze still trained to the floor she guided Arizona in. They made their way silently to a booth and slid into the seats opposite each other, Callie still avoiding eye contact as she shakily brought her hands onto the table and flattened her palms against the cool surface. Arizona watched as the Latina took a few deep breaths expelling them slowly, her gaze never lifting. They were approached by a young girl no older than seventeen, carrying a notepad, pen tucked behind her ear, her cotton candy coloured hair pulled into a bun held in place with another pen carefully speared through the centre.

'Can I get you both a drink?' she asked, eyes expectant as she stood, hand on her hip, the other thumbing the page in front of her that contained more doodles than orders.

Turning her head, Callie spoke although her voice was so soft and reserved Arizona was surprised that the waitress heard it over the loud popping of her bubble gum 'I'll have a coffee please, make that two…thank you'. She watched as the young girl nodded and began to push her breath into a bubble as she walked away from the table and over to the counter.

Arizona took this an opportunity to reach across the table, head ducked as she tried to force some kind of resolve between them. She was completely unaware as to what had Callie so, distant but she knew that she couldn't just sit there and let her withdraw, not when the Latina had been so gung-ho about her making headway. She offered a small smile, walking her own hand across the table slowly, but Callie's eyes widened and she pulled her hands back to her chest, and then dropped them to her lap.

'Why do you do that… pull away ?' Arizona asked, the words leaving her mouth before she could truly think them over but the moment they kissed the air she felt her chest lighten. Watching Callie look up at her with a questioning look she knew she hadn't yet overstepped her mark and so she continued '…I mean you talk to me about opening up and you make it so easy for me to open up to you but act like it's completely impossible for you to do the same'.

Callie shook her head, blowing a breath between her pursed lips as her shoulders lifted and fell in a shrug that truly held all the feelings she was encompassing at the moment. She looked at the blonde before her and felt heaviness in her heart. Inwardly cursing herself she found her mind working overtime searching for an excuse, her heart pounding in her ears as she blinked back tears and her voice became shaky '…I don't mean to'. It wasn't much of an explanation but it was all she could offer, it was all she had. She balled her fists in her lap and closed her eyes as she felt another wave of panic fall over her as the blonde continued.

'You shut down completely, it's hard to watch. I get it, and I won't push you but you look exhausted Callie and you're sleeping on a dance-floor…' her voice filled with concern and worry caused Callie to sink lower in her seat, her fists unfurling as she wrapped her arms around herself protectively. Arizona noticed this and her voice dropped to a whisper as she voiced a thought that had begun floating around her mind 'Callie… Do you have somewhere else to go?'. She watched the Latina finally lift her head and meet her stare, her expression somewhere between lost and disbelief as she nodded slowly.

'I have a house, Arizona I'm just…' she swallowed her words momentarily, allowing her brain the chance to catch up with how fast her revelations were leaving her mouth. She wasn't entirely sure why but it was like the blonde had pulled the plug and now all her issue were gushing forth out into the open, spilling down the streets until she couldn't help but feel like she was knee deep in the life she had been trying to so hard to forget. Sighing she began again '… it's not home. I'm afraid to be there alone'. This admittance fell in an almost whisper that took Arizonas' breath away, she smiled sadly, her eyes pleading for the Latina to continue '… I don't know why I'm telling you this but I'm afraid and so I sleep at the studio because that's where I feel… levelled,… just centred. I know it sounds ridiculous, and I know it looked ridiculous. I mean, a grown woman sleeping on a dance-floor, it's just…I don't have… I just need… to be somewhere I feel safe'.

The truth can feel like a weight has been lifted, in some people the truth really does set them free, but in others the truth can overpower you, it can leave you feeling lost and afraid. In some people the truth isn't as wonderful as it's made out to be, it's hard and it's painful, and in Callie's case it brought about more questions than answers, and she didn't have time to work through her issues, she didn't have it in her to work through that part of her life. So she danced, and she would bury herself in her work and her passion because she was afraid that by falling prey to the truth she would lose herself again, lose what she had waited so long to find. Yet here she sat confronting that part of her life she had tried so hard to sway away from, each pirouette she had spun away had finally caught up with her. She watched as the blondes' mouth formed a perfect 'o', her eyes softening as she allowed her words to sink in.

'Oh'

She shook her head, hands clasping around the warm mug the waitress placed in front of her, silently thanking her with a grateful nod of her head. Turning back to the blonde she sighed, 'I don't mean to shut down, I just … I haven't had someone who actually cared in my life for a long time. I don't have any friends' she admitted, these words falling from her lips in a haze of resentment and sadness '… not anymore'.

Arizona watched as the Latina came undone, as her mouth moved slowly and words fell into the open. A warmth of understanding washing over her, as she realised just how close Callies words had hit to home. She knew exactly how this loneliness felt, how people you thought would remain in your life just started to fade away one day. She had come to the conclusion shortly after her accident that just like when you step into a puddle, friendship comes in ripples, and they start off close around you, but eventually get pushed further and further away until a stillness surrounds you, and you begin to wonder if you'll ever feel the turbulence of life again. She smiled, her mouth upturning in the corner as she shrugged her shoulders and playfulness found her voice.

'I thought you didn't like lying?' she asked, tilting her head to the side and shaking it slowly. Callie's brows furrowed and her nose crinkled at this comment. Her head shaking slowly and quick and she countered almost immediately.

'I don't'

'Then you are going to have to take that last statement back,' Arizona smiled, her hand slipping across the table, caramel covered by the softest of opaques. Callie flinched slightly at the action, warmth encompassing her hand, as she turned her hand over and their palms flattened against each other's '… because I'm pretty sure we are friends'

'We are?' the Latina questioned, her voice wavering with a hope she didn't too often express. She felt her nerves persuading her body to relinquish control. Her stomach bordering nausea and fear at the expectations that come along with the responsibility of friendship. It had been so long since Callie had found herself in a position to call anyone a true friend, having let all tethers of her life unwind shortly after Addison's exit, but she felt something in this moment. Sat in a bustling diner, across the table from a stranger who was changing her life one sentence at a time, one acceptance at a time, she knew the face of the world was changing and more than anything it filled her with a sense of… something as close to happiness as she could feel.

Watching the widening of Callies eyes, hearing the hopefulness in her voice, Arizona let a small breath escape her. She was still trying to figure out what exactly was happening with herself. She hadn't quite expected to take to the Latina as she had, she hadn't expected her path to lead her to a dance studio, she hadn't wished on any passing stars for a new friend, and she most certainly hadn't even imagined in her wildest dreams that she would be helping someone else through any kind of issue. And yet, in the lightest touch she almost felt herself drowning in an uncontrollable need to get closer.

She nodded a confirmation to the Latina and curled her fingers supportively around the hand below her, smiling as she felt a slight pressure around her own hand, where Callie had decided to commit to the hold. It happened so suddenly, and so naturally that neither felt anything else but comfort and while brown held blue, their peripheral vision blurring like a slow-motion splash of modern art; they allowed themselves a moment of togetherness in a world so content on making them feel alone.

They ordered their meals, hands still clasped in the centre of the table, neither letting the hold loosen until presented with their dishes and the challenge of one handed dining. They ate in a relative silence, each focused on enjoying their food, and the company and neither wanting to be the first to break what had become a very comfortable silence. Glances were stolen over the fizzing of gas bubbles in glasses containing clear liquids the ordered to accompany their meals and soon the plates before them reached a satisfying emptiness and the waitress was signalled in a lifted hand gesture.

Before they were approached, Callie took a fleeting glance at the blonde and felt a light laugh bypass her lips. Looking at her questioningly the blonde shrugged her shoulders in an unspoken question, urging the Latina to explain herself.

Callie sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and smiled before opening her mouth to speak 'So being that we are friends,' she began, small giggles still finding their way into the air '… I think I should tell you that you have some sauce, right… there' she lifted her hand and gestured in the direction of a deep red morsel that was clinging to the corner of Arizonas' lips. A dark flush invaded the blondes' cheeks and her eyes widened in embarrassment. Lifting her napkin to her face, Arizona began to wipe furiously at her mouth, but the small stain resisted.

'Ugh, gone?' she asked, slightly annoyed that the Latina had allowed her to go the entire sitting without so much as a visual clue to the offending morsel sitting proudly in the gentle crease of her lips.

'No,' Callie laughed softly, her own hand reaching for a napkin that she gripped softly and inched across the table to dab gently at the blondes mouth '… here let me'.

She allowed her slightly shaking hand to complete its task before it dropped slowly back to the table, supporting her as she tilted her head to the side, eyes narrowing at the gentle sprinkling of almost invisible freckles that danced across the blonde nose. Her breath caught on the precipice of her mouth as she allowed herself a moment to get lost in the hidden beauty Arizona exuded.

'Thank you' Arizona whispered her breathing heavy and a heat flushing over her as she noticed the Latinas darkening pupils. Shifting slightly in her seat she allowed her teeth to sink into her bottom lip, as their reverie was interrupted by the waitress placing a brown leather book on the table in front of them. Arizonas eyes broke contact, turned towards her jacket and she quickly fished out her purse and placed a gathering of notes in the leather book and returned it to the hand of the waitress.

'Arizona I can get that', Callie spoke, shaking her head as she pulled her own purse from the confines of her hoody and fished between the large group of notes she carried around with her.

'No its fine I got it…' the blonde stated, holding her hand out in front of her palm facing Callie in a stop motion. But the Latina was persistent; she pulled out some notes and held them across the table.

'Please let me at least split it' she begged, looking up at the blonde who was shaking her head in refusal.

'Callie its fine, besides I was going to ask for a favour and it's kind of big'

'How big are we talking here?' Callies' eyes widened, as she waved her hand in the air to catch the attention of the waitress again. Slipping the tip into the hand of the young server and smiling her thanks, Callie began to get to her feet. Slipping free of the booth and offering her hand to help the blonde to her feet. Arizona accept, gripping her cane, and gently using Callie to support herself she slid from the table and they began to exit. Arizona chewed nervously on her lip as she allowed her next words to free fall from her mouth.

'A little bigger than a messy office, let's just say I'm going to owe you more than my cleaning and coffee services' she closed her eyes tight and her request fell into the open on a quick breath '… could you come home with me?'

'Wow, that's the quickest offer I've ever had' the Latina giggled, swinging her hips into the blonde gently. Noticing the tension and nervousness of the blonde and deciding she would try and lighten the mood. Smiling to herself as she noticed Arizona rolling her eyes and starting again.

'I meant, could you come back to my place while I talk to Tim?' Callie paused, one hand raised she pulled the door to the diner open and they stepped out onto the even busier streets She threw the blonde a look of uncertainty but not quite ready to let go, she continued '… I left him in a really awkward situation and I need to fix things'.

'What do you need me for?' Callie asked, a hint of genuine concern slipping out with her question. She felt Arizonas hand snake under her arm, linking them together as they manoeuvred the streets and headed back towards the studio.

'Backup… support' the blonde smiled, tightening her hold on the Latinas arm, as she smiled cheekily. She knew that when she allowed the corners of her mouth to truly uplift there would be a definite showing of dimples, her cheeks would hollow in the centres and apparently it was one of her many charms, she decided she would need to delve into her arsenal in order to get Callie on board. So she took a breath and pleaded with her eyes, her lips stretching and corners of her mouth reaching heights they had long forgotten.

'I'm pretty sure with a face like that you could wrap him around your finger Arizona. Just bat those baby blues at him and you'll be fine, I'm sure' Callie scoffed, leaning into the blonde playfully. Arizona sighed and momentarily forgot where she was, she paused in her steps and turned to face Callie head on, her hands slipping to her sides as the throngs of people darted around them.

'It's just easier with you.' Her tone was desperate and filled with a need Callie hadn't heard before, not from the blonde. She felt her words dissipate on the light breeze, her mouth hanging open at the revelation 'I mean, you just, you get it. You understand and …he's my brother but he is trying to parent me and I can't… I need to try do this my way… please'.

Callie watched as the blondes gaze fell to the floor, the flood of sadness that swept over her taking away all memory of the dimples that had graced Arizonas' porcelain cheeks. She felt an ache in her stomach and although her head was telling her that doing this, getting herself involved would be a bad idea, there was something inside of her that was causing a nodding action. Reaching out for the blondes hand, she interlocked their fingers and gave her a reassuring squeeze before agreeing in a barely audible whisper.

'Ok, I'm in'.

They made their way back to the studio, each lost in contemplation about what would happen once they reached Arizonas place. Callie mentally berating herself for choosing to get involved, and Arizona thanking her lucky stars that the Latina had agreed to accompany her. They walked across the parking lot and paused in front of Callies' car, the Latina fumbled in the pockets of her oversized hoody and retrieved the key. Deactivating the alarm, she walked to the drivers' side and pulled the door open, motioning with her head for the blonde to mirror her actions on the other side. Arizona stood stationary and watched as she Latina made a move to get into the car.

'You're going to drive?' she quizzed, pulling the passenger side door open and lowering her head to meet the Latinas gaze. Callie pulled her door closed and leaned across the seat.

'You want to walk another two miles?' she asked the blonde, eyes wide as she waited for the shake of head she expected, before smiling '… well then get in'

'Callie?' Arizonas' voice wavered as she stepped a little closer to the car and assessed the situation. The seat being lower than she was used to, she was so used to having someone support her. Tim helped her into their car now without so much as a second thought; it was less awkward that way. If they just pretended it was routine, especially since Arizona hated asking for help. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes tight, here she was trying to convince her brother she didn't need help, and yet in this moment, under this circumstance that was exactly what she needed. She muttered under her breath about the harsh reality reminding her of her predicament, and then looked back to the Latina.

'Yeah?'

'Could you help me… Tim normally lifts me in' she admitted sheepishly, swaying slowly as she tried not to look as disappointed in herself as she felt right now. She waited for the Latina to quickly exit the car and make her way around to the passenger side, but was surprised to see that Callie made no effort to move, and Arizona wondered momentarily if she hadn't quite heard her plea. Her worry was dismissed when Callie began to speak.

'Well,' she started reaching around and buckling herself in, her gaze completely avoiding the image of the blonde to her side '…today is about showing him you are capable so… give it try, you don't have to be graceful about it Arizona, it's not an audition for swan lake, just get in.' she stated, her tone light as if this was just a normal occurrence. One thing Callie knew was that if she made a huge deal out of it, stared, watched too closely than Arizona would never do it, there was too much pressure involved with held gazes, too much expectation from both parties and so she waited patiently. She checked the mirrors', although they didn't need to be adjusted she fiddled with them absentmindedly.

Arizona allowed a breath to pass her lips, surprise filling her at the thought that Callie wasn't going to help her, and for a moment she felt a little angry that the Latina made no move to get up out of her seat, and so she shuffled forward. Pivoting slowly in an even paced rocking motion until she faced away from the car and then she lowered herself albeit not gracefully into the car. Her hands trembling as short staggered breaths escaped her nervous pursed lips. She felt a slight jolt, as her knees bent 90 degrees and her bottom found the safety of her seat and she then swung her legs in cautiously and let go of a sigh of relief.

'Let's go' Callie smiled, nodding as the blonde reached for her belt and pulled it across her body.

'Thank you' she whispered, listening intently for the reassuring click that told her she was secured. She pressed her hands in her lap and drummed her fingers in a rhythmic nervousness on her thighs.

'What for?' Callie asked, as she revved the engine and began to pull out of the car park.

'For making things seem normal'.

Smiling Callie nodded her head lightly. 'I think normal is overrated but knowing our capabilities and our possibilities is always something worth exploring'. She glanced quickly over at where the blonde now sat pondering her words, her brows furrowed in deep consideration of the Latinas words. The car filled with a silence as they made their way out onto the main stretch of road.

'What about our inabilities?' Arizona breathed, her worrying tone overshadowed by a heart-warming giggle that escaped Callies lips '… What?' she asked, a little annoyed that the Latina didn't seem to be taking this seriously. She knew that they were at different stages in their recovery, different stages in their emotional and psychological acceptance of their situations but she had thought Callie was a little more understanding than this. She heard the giggle give way to a sigh and felt a warmth find her thigh. Glancing down she saw Callies hand resting there, her fingers giving a gentle squeeze that brought Arizonas gaze upwards and with the softest of smiles Callie spoke words that Arizona knew she would never be able to shake from her mind.

'Arizona… we can do anything if we just try'.

It was there in her smile; no longer hidden it was on display for all to see. The wonderous warmth of hope, of endless possibility. No boundaries, no restrictions just life, in its most pure and basic form. Smiling Arizona bit down on her lip and nodded her acceptance, before turning to look out of the window where the sun was peeking through the clouds, a small reminder that no matter how bleak things may seem, if you wait, and have patience, if you just ride out the storm then it will all be worth it.

Turning back to the Latina, she reached for the caramel hand covering the gear stick and covered it with her own, lips parting slightly at the warmth she found in this motion. Her stomach somersaulting and heart racing she allowed her mind to wonder as a smile became fixed on her face. In this moment she was happy, she was hopeful and she was closer than she had ever been to feeling like herself again, and she had to admit she was beginning to feel like with Callie at her side, she could ride out the toughest of any storms.


	8. Chapter 8

**Authors Note: I know I haven't updated in forever. Please don't worry this will not be an unfinished fic. I'm very invested in this I just, have been living the crazy life this past month. Between competitions and training, and obviously parenting things have been… insane. **

**Thank you to all who continue to read this, thank you for your support and your messages. I love to read them all. I hope this will serve you well.I didn't want to edit it anymore. It was begging for its debut. I could seriously use someone to keep on at me to post and not allow these things to sit on my computer for too long. Oh and I've already started proofing chapter 9 so that won't be too long hopefully in posting.**

**Don't own nothing, except the spelling and grammar mistakes and in the words of Bob Ross, there are no mistakes just happy accidents.**

**X Peace, Love and Frowny Brownies X**

**Chapter Eight**

The warmth of the day was nothing compared to the warmth that lingered between their hands, between gear shifts Callies palm had subtly upturned and Arizonas' fingers filled the spaces between her own. Her head was screaming for her to put an end to whatever it was they were doing, but her heart was beating so loud it drowned out the voice of reason and instead Callie allowed herself this. This small act of innocence, a moment of normality she usually strived for. She drove slowly, her eyes scanning ahead of her as she cautiously followed Arizonas' directions into the built up neighbourhood.

'Just take a right here and yeah, this is me.' Arizona finished, leaning forward in her seat and pointing towards the large standing apartment building in front of them. She sucked in her bottom lip, and readied herself in her seat. Noticing the blonde's body stiffening beside her Callie turned her palm once more, only this time it was met with nothingness. Arizonas' hands were clenched in tight fists at either side of her, her teeth clamped down on her bottom lip so hard that a small drop of blood burst through the skin.

'Take a deep breath, you can do this' Callie reassured her, parking the car and reaching across to undo her seatbelt. She turned in her seat and looked sympathetically at the blonde beside her, blue eyes staring out of the window, focused on nothing in particular and yet still showing every emotion Callie was pretty sure she was hiding.

'I can do this, I can do this,' the blonde whispered under her breath, a mantra that she nodded her head in time to. She brushed her fists with her thumbs and unfurled her fingers slightly, the pressure of the balled hands causing crescent moons to appear on her palm. The slight pain enough to bring her back to reality as she turned her head and opened her mouth '…Callie?'

'Yeah?'

'I don't think I can do this' she admitted, shaking her head. Her blonde tresses falling over her face, spilling over her shoulders and curtaining the Latina from the fear that was now clearly etched onto Arizonas face. Callie felt her heart thud, her breathing deep and slow as her shoulders dropped and her tone followed suit. She reached across for one of the blondes hand and urging it into her own she gave a gentle reassuring squeeze before she shook her head and whispered.

'I don't think you have a choice'.

Nodding her acceptance of this conclusion Arizona began to fumble around her waist, her hand pulled back from Callies' supportive hold, as she searched for her seatbelt buckle. Finding the small device she flexed her nimble fingers and pressed hard to free herself before she turned to pull the handle of the passenger side door. Wrapping one hand on the doorframe and the other flattened against the window, Arizona managed to pull herself to her feet. Not daring to bring her gaze to meet Callies as embarrassment flushed her cheeks and a sense of accomplishment filled her body, causing her to smile with renewed vigour. Callies words from earlier playing over and over in her mind, she smiled softly at how much she was already capable of doing for herself just because she was trying. Her independence was still waiting on the distant horizon, but it was shining so bright that it was more than a far off possibility to her anymore. It was real.

She steadied herself, and reached a hand forward to accept the one extended before her, allowing herself a large step forward into the waiting arms of the Latina who reached behind her and pushed the door closed. Closing her eyes, Arizona tilted her head towards the sky and felt the soft kiss of the warming sun creep over her skin. Her eyes opening wide as she felt Callies arm slipping into her own supportively, bringing her back to reality. Sighing softly she began to walk towards the buildings entrance, her grip tightening on the Latina as they passed through the doors.

Heading towards the elevator Arizona came to a halt as she noticed it was sporting the yellow tapings she had come to despise over the past few months.

'Ugh, just my luck,' she sighed, throwing one hand up into the air and shaking her head '… it's an omen. We should turn back around and just leave' she turned on her heel but felt resistance at her elbow as Callie held her in place.

'Whoa there,' she began, her grip on the blondes arm tight for fear she might take off, she waited for her pull to slacken before she tilted her head and smiled softly '… running is not going to help your problems'. She allowed her hands to move to Arizonas' arms and she rubbed them reassuringly 'You can do this, we just have to um… find the stairs'. She glanced over the shoulder of the blonde and swept the bottom floor and nodding; she resumed her hold and headed towards the staircase.

Slowly she managed to manoeuvre Arizona up the first flight, and she kept a smile on her face despite the steep steps and narrow stairwell. She wasn't about to show Arizona she was unsteady, she was there to support her and so when Arizona whispered they had to travel another two flights she allowed herself a sharp intake of breath before her mouth settled back into a reassurance she wasn't entirely sure of. Reaching the desired floor she allowed the intake of breath she had been holding to escape her as she giggled in relief.

'Well this has to be the least accessible apartment in Seattle, you must have been really angry to even have contemplated the walk to the studio this morning'.

'Yeah, you could say that…' Arizonas' voice was barely a whisper, noting the waver in her tone as they came to a pause outside a door and Arizonas face fixed itself into a hard stare. Callie watched how all hints of the blondes relaxed demeanour came to an end, her brows now furrowed and her lips pursed in determination.

'This is it?'

'This is it…' Arizona confirmed nodding her head slowly before taking a deep breath and fishing in her pocket for her keys '… no matter how heated this gets, you'll stay right?'. The blondes gaze turned from the door and softened at the sight of the Latina. Callie noticed the promise of a tsunami in those ocean blue eyes before her and as her own head tilted to the side she wondered just what she had let herself get caught up in. She felt her stomach tighten, her heart beating fast as her mind ran a marathon while chanting its advice which was to get out of this while she could Her body however had other plans, her stance remained stoic, feet planted firmly on the ground, a resistance she couldn't quite shake.

'Arizona…'

'It's just. I just need a friend okay, a little support… I just need you to promise me that you'll stay' desperation now laced every word that fell from the blondes mouth, her eyes widening as fear caused the waves in her eyes to threaten to overflow and spill down her face.

'Okay,' Callie whispered, her hand dropping from the blondes arm to find her hand, their fingers entwining as she gave her a reassuring squeeze '…I promise. I'll stay'

'No matter what?' Arizona asked, turning her gaze back to the doorway, her hand still held firmly in the Latinas caramel hold.

Smiling softly to herself, Callie took a step forward and stood side by side with the Blonde, turning her gaze towards the door and nodding her intentions although she was certain the blonde was too caught up to notice and so she found her voice pushing past her lips and her words crashing into the open, surprising herself in the process.

'No matter what'.

A smile found the face of the blonde and as she pushed the cold metal that had nestled into her palm, into the door and turned the key. Stepping inside she was greeted with complete silence, and for a moment she allowed herself the fantasy that Tim had decided to go out and she would be spared this confrontation, for a while. She stepped further into the apartment, her hand still tight in the Latinas as she turned to face her.

'Arizona is that you?' a voice came from the spare bedroom. Callies' eyes widened as she felt the hold on her hand tighten. Arizonas' mouth dropping open as her brother exited the bedroom and came towards them '... What the hell were you thinking? 'I'll be right back?' you've been gone most of the day'.

'I just needed some space Tim, I needed to clear my head…' she stated, her head dropping, hair covering her face as she tried to find the strength to deal with this again. She felt a squeeze in her palm again and remembered she had support; she took a deep breath and glanced up at the Latina beside her, smiling softly her appreciation.

'So you walked god knows where?' Tims tone had moved from concern to anger in seconds and it registered with Callie who took a step forward protectively.

'I went to the studio,' Arizona smiled, watching as the Latina moved a small step in front of her … you remember Callie'.

Tims' eyes narrowed, and he dropped his gaze to the hand in his sisters. His tone still dripping with anger as he nodded towards the Latina. '…I do'

'Hi' Callie offered, her words clipped and tone strong enough to let him know she wasn't going to be pushed around. A sadness creeping in as she felt the blondes grip loosen and the loss of her hand from her palm.

'Look I was wondering if we could talk…' Arizona stepped across the room towards her brother, who had moved himself over to the breakfast bar and was cleaning away the dishes left over from the breakfast Arizona had walked out on.

'The time to talk was this morning, with Andee… and you ran' he waved his hand in the air and brushed her off.

'I don't need a lecture Tim and I definitely don't need a home help. I want to do things myself, to learn how to do this for myself' she stated, moving towards him. She watched him tense up as she reached for him and as he turned to face her she saw it on his face. He was staring at her with pity, her stomach bottomed out, her breath caught in her throat as she stared at him with wide eyes.

'You can't Arizona; you can't do all of this by yourself, not right now. You need help' he shouted, stepping away from her and throwing his arms into the air, his head shaking violently as scrunched his face in disbelief. Following him as quick as she could she reached out a hand and grabbed him by the elbow forcing him to look at her.

'I know this is hard for you to accept but everything is going to be okay. When you have to go back, I'll be okay'

'You don't know that' he spat, his voice loud and words echoing around the room, causing Arizona to step back and Callie to move further into the room. She was beginning to feel uneasy, watching this interaction, seeing how angry Tim was and she was quick to defend Arizona although she wasn't entirely sure why. She glanced at the blonde, her eyebrows raised in a silent question and as Arizona shook her head slowly and lifted her hand to declare her control on the situation, Callie eased back onto her heels and watched silently as they continued.

'I do… I know it,' Arizona pleaded stepping closer to Tim, and sighing when he stepped back and out of her grasp '… I just, I need you to… I want you to believe I can do this, I'm beginning to believe I can'. She allowed her gaze to shift with her last words, glancing over at the Latina, the corners of her mouth turning upwards as she received a smile from the woman stood in the doorway ready to jump to her defence if need be. She felt her stomach flip, her cheeks heating up as she bit down on her bottom lip and turned back to face her brother.

Tim watched the exchange and shook his head disapprovingly 'Arizona, two days ago you barely blinked. You refused to get out of bed and you had said all but four words to me since I got here. Now you want me to believe that after two days of Little Miss Miracles dance love-ins you're back to your old self?' he asked, his hand gesturing towards where Callie stood, her eyes wide at his nickname for her and her therapy sessions.

'Tim…' Arizona stated warningly noticing how Callies hands had found her waist and her deep brown eyes were widened in disbelief. Watching how Arizonas hand found Tims elbow supportively, and her lips failed to speak the rest of her defence regarding the Latina, Callie decided that this was one step too far. She was happy to stick around and provide the support the blonde needed but not at the expense of her own dignity.

'I should go…' she stated, clearing her throat and nodding her goodbye towards the blonde. Arizonas hand fell from Tims arm as she took a step towards the Latina, placing herself subconsciously in between her brother and the other woman.

'No Callie, please don't…' her plea was barely audible over Tims acknowledgement of 'Yeah I think you should' and as he stepped forward, attempting to cross the room and open the door to speed up the Latinas exit he was surprised to find the blondes hand on his shoulder pushing him back. She had stepped, once more without knowing it, in between her brother and Callie, and was firmly standing her ground. Callie paused where she stood, and watched curiously as Tim lowered his gaze to meet his sister and was met with a challenging stare that he couldn't comprehend. He pushed forward off his feet, trying to move towards the door once again but the hand remained firmly keeping him in his place.

'You know what Arizona, you can't do this alone and the fact that you ran to her this morning proves it,' he threw his arms up in the air and took a step back '…You don't even know this woman and yet you ran to her for help. You can't do this alone, Arizona! You're not strong enough and that's why you brought her here. You aren't a fighter, you aren't a soldier, not anymore'.

It was instantaneous, as the words fell like venom from his mouth and Arizonas' shoulders had slumped, Callie had crossed the room and wrapped her arms around the blonde. She wasn't entirely sure why she had reacted so fast, but the second she watched Arizonas resolve break she couldn't stop herself. Hands shaking as they held the blonde to her chest reassuringly, she shook her head and turned to look at Tim.

'I don't know who you think you are, but I can't stand here and listen to you talk to her like that. You don't know what she is going through; you don't know how hard any of this actually is. You can only imagine and that's not good enough. You're trying to force her into accepting a situation that makes her uncomfortable because you don't want to leave feeling any kind of residual guilt… that's crap' she tightened her hold, her hands pushing Arizonas body so she curled into her chest, one hand tangling in the blondes curls as she rocked back and forth on the balls of her feet in a soothing motion.

'Oh and I suppose you know exactly what it is she needs? You've known her all of two days and you know exactly what my sister needs?' he shot back, stepping closer to where his sister stood, head against the Latinas chest and fists curled into the fabric that covered her front. '…You'll be here to pick her up when she falls? You'll be here in the night, when she screaming and she needs someone to help her into the bathroom because her nightmares have become so real she's woken up covered in her own urine… you'll be here right?' his voice was gaining momentum, getting louder and louder, and this last phrase caught Callie completely off guard. She felt herself suck in a breath and hold it, his words telling her more than the blonde had cared to divulge. She stilled her motions and felt her grip loosen on Arizona, pushing herself back and searching for the ocean blue gaze for the truth she didn't really want to hear.

Arizona looked up, the tsunami in her eyes too powerful for her body to contain and now waves of tears rolled down her face, a bitter sea of torment, anguish and humiliation. She looked into the eyes of the Latina and felt her breath stagger as she tried to regain some composure but the look she saw there was enough to send her over the edge again and she stepped back slowly, hands still tangled in Callies hoody, Tims rant continuing in the background. Callie felt her heart beat pounding at her chest, felt her hands shake along with her knees and as she watched Arizona move backwards, out of her hold she couldn't bring herself to pull her back to where she knew she wanted her to be.

'Yeah, I didn't think so…you're a dance teacher, you're not her doctor. You're not her friend, you're nothing, and you know…nothing'.

The truth can slip into a room and linger like an unwelcome guest, it will float around on the winds of change and then announce itself in grandeur and before you can prepare yourself, it will sweep you off your feet, leave you unbalanced and uncertain. It can cause you to question even the purest of your intentions, even the strongest of your feelings and it can render you paralysed. Callie was held to the spot by the truth that had entered the room, falling from the lips of the man before her, and confirmed by the glassy gaze of a woman she barely knew. She closed her eyes and tried to find her centre, words gathering in her mind forcing their way over the threshold of her lips and before she knew it, her voice was filling her ears. A bitter, angry and knowing tone that she resented Tim for causing, for finding buried deep inside her, and bringing it to the surface.

'I know enough to tell you that if you keep taking away her chances to be independent then you're condemning her before she even tries. You're supposed to encourage her, and be the positive she needs to help her slip back into her old life'.

'She can't just slip back into her old life… that's gone now. She has a new life, and a long road of recovery and therapy ahead of her… she needs help. If anything proves that it's the fact that she brought you here to fight her corner'. Tim had moved closer to his sister, and yet was still managing to continue his tirade without actually acknowledging her presence. Callie had completely forgotten that moments ago she was holding the blonde in her arms, instead too focused on the heated argument, she countered as she stepped forward.

'She never brought me here… I chose to come with her. She deserves someone's' support'.

' You are nothing but some stranger who plied into her life yesterday, and she only needs to you to fight her battles for her'

'You know what I'm happy to fight her battles for her…' Callie was seething, hands fisted in tight balls as she bit her bottom lip a little too hard and the taste of metal filled her mouth. She stepped again only this time she felt a hand grab at her wrist and pull her back gently.

'Until it all becomes too real for you and then you'll bail… am I right?' Tims' words catching the attention of his sister, Callie felt it in the loss of her touch. Looking back she took in the appearance of the blonde who stood watching the exchange in complete shock. She felt her mind slip into a haze at the sight of the tears that had rolled unsteady rivulets down Arizonas face, her smile completely vanished, she was slipping back to the person Callie had encountered only yesterday.

She tried to force the words to continue to fall, she could taste them on her lips, the bitterness of the anger she held for Tims' ignorance and his inability to treat his sister with the respect she deserved, and the embarrassment she felt, at having interrupted a conversation that had nothing to do with her. She could taste her hearts' desire to look defend the blonde, to offer reassurances that she cared and that she would be there, but Callie knew better than to speak promises she couldn't deliver. She could taste the overwhelming truth that she would try and be someone the blonde could turn to, but knowing how the situation looked, and replaying Tims' use of the words stranger, over and over in her mind she just couldn't do it .As hard as she tried, she just kept blowing out breaths of air that couldn't form the basic structure of a sentence, and after a few more tries she gave in to the inevitable silence she had tried to prevent.

'You should leave, so I can talk to my sister' Tims stated authoritatively, crossing the room and reaching for the handle on the door before opening it and nodding towards the hallway.

Callie shook herself from her reverie and looked over at Tim, her head shaking slowly as she turned to where Arizona stood beside her.

'Arizona?' she questioned, and she knew instantly the moment the small blonde refused to lift her gaze that she would be leaving momentarily … alone.

'He's right, I shouldn't have asked you to come here,' she began, tears dancing on the precipice of blue once more a waver in her voice that Callie knew was uncertainty '… I don't really know you. I can't… allow myself to rely on you…you should leave '.

Stepping forward Callies' eyes widened as her step was mirrored, the blonde stepping back and raising her hands upwards in a stop motion. The Latina shook her head and started again, her voice a barely audible whisper 'Arizona, before you said no matter how…'.

'I shouldn't have!' she replied, her voice gaining volume and momentum as she rushed her words so as to not give herself a chance to think about them, knowing if she did she wouldn't be able to say what she knew she needed to. '… I shouldn't have come to the studio. I shouldn't have led you to believe this was your fight, it's not' the Latina stepped forward again and Arizonas' hands came to rest on her stomach, pushing gently in an attempt to keep space between them, knowing that if she allowed the Latina to she would find herself buried in her chest again, where it was safe, and where it was warm, but she knew that it would last and so she closed her eyes and displaced her anger for Tim on the beautiful woman before her '… Damn it Callie, I can do this on my own. You can't help me fix my life when your own is as much of mess; you're sleeping on the floor of a studio, you're afraid to go home. You can't help me… Tim is right.'

A snort of derision came from the doorway, a triumphant smirk on the face of her brother and Arizona felt her heart sink. She didn't dare to look up as this revelation fell from her mouth, she knew this was a low blow but it was the only way to get Callie to leave. She could feel the deep brown gaze of the Latina burning into her, and she shook her head and balled her fists at her sides. She could feel an apology building up inside of her, a desperate plea for forgiveness that she knew Callie deserved, but she could also hear the words Tim spoke earlier, a reminder of her situation. She needed to prove she could do this alone; she needed to prove she was a fighter; she needed to prove she was still a soldier. She needed to prove it… but she wasn't entirely sure who she was trying to prove it to.

Callie felt the air leaving her as her stomach did a flip it knew it couldn't land and she knew if she didn't get out as quick as she could she would break. She had allowed herself to open up to the blonde and now her shortcomings had been used as ammunition in a battle she was destined to lose. She stepped back and dropped her hands, shrugging her shoulders as she tried to regain her composure. Her eyes were stinging with betrayal as she nodded slowly, chewing on her bottom lip.

'I guess he is,' Callie admitted, taking another step back '… I can't help you. Luckily for you, you don't need anyone, right?' she half expected Arizona to answer her, a part of her screamed inwardly for the blonde to just acknowledge her and she would stay but when the blonde didn't even so much as bat and eyelash Callie knew she had to give up. Turning around and heading for the door she felt a heaviness in her chest, she paused as she reached the threshold and turned around. Arizonas gaze was still firmly fixed on her own feet, and her shoulders were shaking. Callie swore she felt something break inside of her '…Thank you for the coffee' she said shakily, watching as the blondes gaze lifted suddenly and their eyes locked in a sadness neither could quite escape. Callie offered her a slight tilt of her head, a silent apology that the blonde returned and then she was gone.

The door shut slowly and Arizona felt herself falling, reaching for the kitchenette she managed to sue what little strength she had left to keep herself upright as her brother came to her side and patted her shoulder.

'I'm just looking out for you,' he said, his tone still laced with the air of authority he had imposed upon her growing up. He moved away from her and towards his bedroom, his voice travelling over his shoulder as he left '… she doesn't know you like I do. She doesn't know you at all'.

Arizona felt a fresh wave of tears fall down her face as she wrapped her arms around herself and slowly walked towards her own room the image of the hurting Latina, one she just couldn't shake. She lowered herself onto her bed and pulled the covers around her, closing her eyes and wishing for relief, for both herself and Callie. She glanced at her hand; lifted it to the skies and sighed, she could still feel the ghost of Callies' own hand right there in the spaces between her fingers and she wondered if she would ever feel that close to whole again. Maybe Callie didn't know her like Tim did, Maybe Callie didn't know her like anyone else did, but she couldn't help but wonder if she had made a huge mistake in letting her go, because maybe, just maybe… Callie could have been the one to know her completely.


	9. Chapter 9

**Authors Note: As promised, Chapter 9… I did a lot of redoing with this chapter, still not happy but it needs to go. Chapter 10 will be coming very soon, so watch this space… A few people stated they would like to know more about Callie and Addison so I hope this fills in the blanks a little, there will be more Caddison flashbacks as the story progresses. I hope this is okay.**

**Thank you to all you amazing people who still read this, and leave your wonderful reviews. I enjoy reading them and they really help with making me want to write this…**

**Xx Peace, Love and Frowny Brownies XX**

**Chapter Nine**

The world keeps on turning, despite our sorrows. The sun still rises and brings forth new days, and time still passes. No matter how deep you crawl under the sheets, or how tight you close your eyes you will come back to reality and it will seem like it didn't realise you were gone.

Because it didn't.

Time waits for no man, or woman, and no matter how slow it seems under the dark safety of your covers each second that ticks away is one you won't ever get back, Then there will come a day when you step back into the sunlight and you'll grasp each second you have left with both hands, and wish for more.

Callie ran, taking steps steadily but hurrying as much as she could. She could feel her heart racing; pounding blast beats against her chest that propelled her forward in her dizzying pace. She felt hot tears rolling down her cheeks, and made no attempt to wipe them away. Her vision blurred and her breathing falling in soft whimpers, she found herself stalling at the end of the hallway. A momentary lapse in her better judgement, as she turned on her heels and made one last wish that the blonde would follow her. A deafening creak made her breath hitch as from the opposite side of the hall a door opened and young man stepped out.

He walked towards the stairwell, amber eyes slipping over the soft features of the Latina, offering her a sympathetic smile as he noted her tears outlined in waterproof mascara, defeated by heartache. She hung her head and began to move towards the stairs. Each step she took she whispered utterances to herself, questioning her motives and her expectations, and reminding herself that as much as she was a stranger to these people, they were the same to her. She couldn't expect to be chosen over a sibling, she couldn't expect to be protected from the truth, and she couldn't expect to feel how she did for the blonde, and not know her.

As she reached the final step and made her way out of the building she felt the gentle breeze remind her to breathe. The simplest of reminders, on the softest of winds. She crossed the pavement to her car, slipped her key into the door and opened it wide, and as she slipped inside, hands resting on the wheel, fingers drumming a rhythm and feet subconsciously working the pedals, a simple song change gave her the push she needed. Pulling away from the building, Callie found herself slipping comfortably towards the back roads, her humiliation slipping away with each rotation of her wheels. She clicked a button and felt the air sneak in through the now opened window to her side, smiling as it whispered reassurances in her ears, promises of better days.

She hummed along to the music that spun in her CD changer, smiling softly as the lyrics untangled on her tongue and made sense for the first time in a long while. She had been lost so long that even the oldest of words felt fresh and she found her heart warm as she began to sing along. Freedom is the soft lilt of a song unsung, the gentle strum of a newly tuned guitar, the soft dance along piano keys, and the cumulative sound it creates. In that moment, with the wind in her hair and her worries leaving on the passing breeze, Callie had never felt so free.

She turned up the slip road that led to her house, sitting atop the hill, fields stretched before it filled with a blanket of amber leaves fallen from trees now bare and uninviting. She made a mental note to rake them into piles later, her eyes widening as she noted a lack of logs stacked beside the house. She felt a small smile sitting in the corner of her mouth, as she noted that despite the obvious beauty of the house it looked, lonely. The winter approaching only causing it to be more noticeable.

She pulled up in her driveway and got out of the car, taking a deep breath she headed straight for the door afraid that if she paused momentarily she would completely mess up the stride she had fallen into. Opening the door she expected a warmth to hit her, and felt a small sadness at the coldness of the place. She decided against shutting the door, a small part of her still uncertain of why exactly it was she was here, but walking straight into the living room she headed for the fire, and without scanning the memory plagued room she did something she hadn't done in over a year.

She lit a fire.

Once the flames danced before her eyes, she got to her feet and moving towards the coffee table and began to push the masses of prints into a box on the floor. Smiles disappearing with the wave of a hand and with each monochrome memory that slipped away, Callie felt her shoulders raise, her head lift and a sense of normality slipped in the still open doorway.

Placing a lid on the box she breathed a sigh of relief, and heading out into the hall she moved to close the door. Floating mindlessly around the house she passed through the kitchen and then dining room until she reached the small room at the back of the house she used for storage. Without so much as stepping into the room she swung the door open and slid the box into the darkness.

Relief.

She felt the warmth she had been expecting, she felt it wrap its arms around her in a hug she hadn't realised she had missed and with a smile she headed back towards the living room. She picked up the glasses and empty bottles that sat expectantly on the table, and resigned them to their inevitable fate, as she whisked them to the kitchen and placed them into the trash. Still humming softly to herself she flittered around the house, opening curtains that hadn't been moved in so long they had gathered stories in abundance of dust. She watched as daylight crept in through each large window she had once noted as her favourite fixture on the house. She had specifically picked these windows when the designer had approached her, and as she pulled the final curtain aside, she remembered why. The daylight crept across the room, kissing every once hidden surface and turning a fear, a real cause of anxiety into a wonderful place she had long forgotten.

She allowed herself a moment, her autopilot on rest and she walked towards the fire. The light crackling of the burning logs soothing her soul and warming her caramel skin. Looking above the fireplace at the faces staring back at her, wide with smiles that never faded, she knew what she had to do. Reaching up and with her fingertips pushing at the underneath of the frame, she removed the picture from the wall. Slowly lowering it from its place until it sat in her grasp, heavy and expectant and then it happened, her hands began to shake slowly. Her breathing becoming rapid and uncontrollable. She came face to face with a gaze she had only dreamt of in recent years.

She lowered the frame to the floor and felt herself bend at the knee. As she sat, she removed a hand from steadying the picture and lifted it to allow her fingers the gentle dance along the outline of the face staring back at her. Sadness rolling over the contours of her cheeks as a soft laugh ghosted her ears and she remembered a time before she had gotten like this, before she had been afraid to acknowledge her memories.

Lowering her head, her raven locks falling over her face clinging to her tears she let her shoulders submit to shaking as she remembered how she had once hung off every word those smiling lips spoke. As she remembered what it felt like to be with someone.

_'Smile for me…' the Latina spoke softly, camera obscuring her smile as she pressed her eye to the viewfinder and found it filled the obvious beauty of the redhead lounging on the bright blue sofa, before her. She stepped closer, angling her head to the right, finger clicking as the sun crept through the broken window of the tiny apartment, casting a halo of light around the girl before her._

_'Callie…' she pleaded, her lips forming a faux pout as she lowered her head slowly and looked up with tired eyes._

_'Come on, please. All I want is one more picture…' Callie begged, lowering the camera so that now her own pout was visible. It quickly gave way to a wide smile that showed off all of her teeth as she realised she had played the one card in her deck that the redhead couldn't resist._

_'You have so many pictures Callie. Can't you just use one of them…' she sat back further, swinging her legs up beside her and then turning to pull them into her chest. Shaking her head the Latina kept pressing the capture button, stepping backwards and forwards in a slow dance, the eternal search for the ideal conditions._

_'I haven t gotten the right shot yet' she sighed, stepping closer and taking a knee, adjusting herself she angled the camera upwards so that the bright sunlight didn't obscure her view. Blowing an exasperated breath of air between her lips the redhead raised a hand and tucked her poker straight hair back behind her ears._

_She was no stranger to this situation; she knew that Callie loved to take pictures, ever since the Latina had gotten her first camera at the age of seven she had been snapping pictures of everything. But her favourite subject had always been Addison, and as much as it drove her crazy, each time the Latina looked through the viewfinder and pressed the button, Addison felt her stomach perform acrobatics and her smile refused to hide.. She couldn't deny the Callie the simple pleasures she took from making memories._

_'How do you know that? You've not let go of that camera all day, that's the third roll of film' she teased, trying desperately to maintain the pout on her face. It had been a long day, and as her eyes took in the room around them, piled wall to wall with boxes, open and closed, she knew it would be an even longer night._

_'I just want to get the perfect shot. You really don't want to document this?' her voice was a mixture of surprise and anxiousness. She had been waiting for this moment for a long time, four years in fact and now that it was here she was worried the redhead was beginning to regret their decision. Two weeks ago Addison had graduated from high school and made good on the promise they had made to each other the day they started. She had moved to New York, to finally get away from the small minds that had grounded her, and to be closer to the arms of the one person who had always helped her fly. They both knew it wasn't going to be easy, both students and both following different career paths into uncertainty, but of one thing they were certain and that was each other. Their presence in the others life, was a given… and now it was a reality they no longer had to wish or wait for._

_'… You don't want to make this a memory we never forget? This is a big day Addie. We did it, you did it... You're here. Finally! And this, this is our place.' Callie allowed the camera to fall from her face, turning at the waist, her hands gesturing around the rundown apartment that was in clear need of repairs. It had been hard to find an off campus apartment that was actually cheap enough for them to afford on Callie's salary and Addison's savings from her part time job back home, but they had come across this one and in true Callie fashion she had overlooked the obvious flaws and decided it was nothing she couldn't fix, or at least learn to live with._

_Addison's smiled softly, and nodded at the girl in front of her before turning her head towards a mewing sound coming from over by the window._

_'I think you might want to tell that to the damn cat… Are you listening there Creeper Steve, she said it's OUR place, now get' clapping her hands together, the redhead giggled as the ginger tabby jumped slightly before turning its head in her direction passively before moving away from the window and heading down the fire escape._

_Callie stepped over to the sofa and lowered herself next to the redhead, slipping the camera from around her neck and shaking her dark raven shoulder length curls away from her face. Slipping down into the comfort of the sofa, she closed her eyes as she sighed._

_'No more listening to drunken arguments about money, no more sneaking out onto the roof just to get some sleep. No more having to pretend it's okay that we don't see each other, we don't even have to hide anymore' a soft smile graced her face at this truth, it had been hard sneaking about the past few years and eighteen hadn't come quick enough, but now that it was here she couldn't help but enjoy it '… this is it. We did it, we're free. Don't you feel amazing?' she asked, not daring to open her eyes, her fists clenched at her sides as she waited for a reply._

_There was nothing but the silence of disbelief, the warm hum of love and then a soft giggle crossed the threshold of the redheads lips and her hands reached for the Latina._

_'You're crazy you know that…Come here' her voice was soft and reassuring as she pulled Callie across the sofa and into her side, arm wrapping languidly around the Latinas shoulders, she turned and placed a soft kiss on her forehead._

_'Aren't you glad you're here?' Callie asked, her words laced with an uncertainty that her face showed as the corners of her mouth dipped low and her breathing stifled in her chest. She slipped her arm from around the Latina, sitting forward slightly and moving to sit cross legged, Addison bent her head. Reaching for Callies hand with her own she shook her head softly and watched as tears threatened to spill from the Latinas eyes._

_'I've never wanted to be anywhere else but with you Callie you know that,' she spoke softly, her words a secret she had kept to herself for so long, that the moment they hit her ears she felt the need to give them wings '… You know that, right?'._

_'Yeah…' Callie smiled softly, uncertainty still lingering on the tip of her tongue. Addison shifted herself closer, urging Callie to mirror her position and when she complied she bent her head forward. Foreheads touching, she bit down on her lip tasting the soft hint of lavender that clung to Callies dark tresses and the sweet taste of cherry that coated her gloss covered lips._

_'I missed you…really missed you' Addison breathed, her nose brushing softly against the Latinas who gifted her with a soft smile._

_'I missed you too…' she whispered, her voice wavering with the weight of the truth she spoke. It had been hard spending the past six months alone. She had been working extra hard in her classes, spending her nights either in the studio, helping out other students, auditioning for small, off Broadway shows, or in the gym to help her keep her mind from working overtime and now that Addison was here she couldn't help but feel a huge weight lifted but her anxiety hit. She had missed her, but she wasn't entirely sure that the red head reciprocated her feelings, six months, half a year was a long time for anyone, it was more than enough time for things to change. Callie was deathly afraid of what change would mean for her._

_Noticing the Latina slipping into her own mind, Addison moved closer, her hands reaching behind Callies back._

_'Here give me this…' she said, picking up the camera and fumbling with it. She turned it upside down and back and forth comically as the Latinas eyes widened in curiosity and uncertainty._

_'What?'_

_'Now how do you work this thing… ?' she teased, turning it so that the viewfinder was level with her grey blue eyes and squinting over dramatically._

_'Addie…' Callie smiled, tilting her head to the side as the red head moved the camera from her face and threw her a serious look. Silently admitting defeat, Callie reached over and popped the lens cover off before nodding for Addison to continue. Smiling her thanks Addison began to shuffle closer to Latina who took this as a sign for her to move and so she placed both hands on the sofa and began to stand only to feel herself being tugged back down._

_'Nope, don't move,' Addison smiled, watching as Callies brows furrowed curiously '… if we are making a memory, we're making a real one. Not some premeditated freeze frame our parents have made us pose for. This is going to be the first in a long line of truths to be told…' she stated, moving closer to the Latina and lifting a hand to cup her chin softly._

_'What are you doing?' Callie whispered, her eyes fluttering between open and closed as a breath caught in her throat and the redhead moved closer._

_'Kissing you…' she smiled, her voice barely audible as she leant closer to the Latina, her lips brushing softly again Callies, as a small sigh escaped into the air between them. Callies hands crept over the redheads lap, stilling as one found purchase on her hip, the other dancing slowly up her back and tangling in Addison's fiery red locks._

_The softest of kisses are secrets exchanged in the closest of whispers. Kisses that contain enough power to erase any pain… celebrate any amount of joy and portray a love that words can't even describe._

_Callie knew better than anyone of the power of kisses, the softest of kisses had turned a rainy November night into the start of something amazing, the softest of kisses had turned her best friend into her girlfriend. They had sealed their goodbyes six months ago in soft kisses, and whispered promises of more to come, and now they had Callie finally allowed herself to believe._

_Lips parting, forehead still resting on one another's and noses brushing lovingly Addison smiled as her eyes fluttered open and she was greeted with a smiling, giggling Latina._

_'I'm really glad you're here' Callie said, moving both hands to cup Addison's face and keep her close, leaning in and peppering her lips with a series of quick soft kisses. Addison smiled and brought her own hand to tangle in Callie's dark curls, the other retaining a firm grip on the camera. A sigh of contentment leaving her as she sought to reassure the girl before her of earlier statement._

_'I never wanted to be anywhere else' she repeated, feeling the Latina nod into her hand and kiss her softly again. Complying Addison dipped her head and allowed herself a moment to get lost in the girl before her, before she pulled away and brought the camera up in front of them '…now, look right into the lens and say 'we're free!''_

_They each turned their heads, hair tangling in a mixture of fire and charcoal, eyes widened with possibility of fresh start, of a new beginning, of a real chance at whatever kind of love this was. Callies smile equally as wide as the redheads as she found her voice and spoke into the air a phrase a wish she once dared not speak, and was now a truth she had longed to hear._

_'We're Free'._

_The soft click of button, and their newfound freedom was captured forever._

Callie, sniffed softly as tears continued to roll down her face, hitting the glass shield that protected their innocence, a sarcastic chuckle catching in her throat as she wished it could have been that easy. One thing she was certain of was that innocence, although brilliant and exciting and inevitable would be short lived, in her case, extremely short lived. She knew the price you pay for innocence, and how hard it was to try and keep it alive.

Standing up, frame still clutched in her shaking hands, eyes still caught on that grey blue gaze, she walked hypnotised towards the back of the house, one hand reaching for the doorway, stepping inside she took a deep breath and closed her eyes as she lowered the frame to the floor and rushed out back into the daylight.

It was done. She waited outside the door, head tilted to the side, hands reaching to wipe her face, create a fresh pallet to paint with the newness of her situation. She expected to feel different, expected to feel something, else… now that she had finally given up, and finally took a step towards moving on. But she still felt the same, a heavy heart, a bitterness and a disappointing blame she knew she would always carry, but the fading sun fell through the windows, resting her back on the door, she slipped slowly to the floor. She felt fresh tears rush forward and with blurry eyes she whispered an apologetic goodbye that was long overdue.


	10. Chapter 10

**Authors Note: Sorry I took a little longer to post this than even I expected. I hope you enjoy. Thank you to everyone who continues to read this fic, and leave me your comments they really do help when writing this. Big shout-outs go to Courtney Crilly, Nadine Hissatomi, Kravn, Calzonafan123, tumnus96 and chawkchic for your constant support and wonderful ability to bring a smile to my often frowny face. I really appreciate you all. Also, to anyone I've missed out, thank you too… feel free to PM me, and I'll add my thanks to you onto the heading of the next instalment.**

**Xx Peace, Love and Frowny Brownies, **

**Magically Challenged xx'**

**Chapter Ten**

Arizona opened her eyes slowly, blinking as she adjusted to the darkness that had crept into the room. Sitting up she raised her arms in the air and stretched as she yawned, hands falling back to the sheets she pulled them aside and shuffled herself to the edge of the bed. Glancing at the clock she realised she had slept the afternoon away and night had stolen the day from her. Sighing softly she pushed herself upright and straightened out the creases from her shirt, as a light rapping sounded at her door. Tims' voice slipped under the doorway and caused her to still in her steps as she listened carefully.

'Hey Arizona, I got us some pizza do you want to come watch the game with me?' his tone was soft and cautious, apologetic without actually saying the words sorry, typical Tim. She crossed the room and headed for the door, her fingers brushing lightly over the cool metal of the door knob as she clutched and turned it to click. Stepping out into the living room she lowered her head, a scowl still gracing her face as she crossed the room and headed for the kitchenette. Manoeuvring around the space, she began to pull a bag of pre-packaged salad from the fridge and empty the contents onto a plate, before scooping up a slice of pizza and sitting it on top of the green leaves. Tim made his way over to where she stood, passing the fridge band pulling out two bottles of chilled beer, and twisting the lids he handed one to her.

'Hey look, I'm sorry about earlier' he began, holding the bottle at arm's length, a proverbial olive branch, he wasn't sure she would take. He tried to meet her gaze but when she refused to even acknowledge his presence next to her he hung his head low and began again '…I just, I've got a lot to do before I leave and I want you to be okay. I love you sis, and I want you to be safe and cared for while I'm gone' his voice dropped towards the end of this declaration. It was hard enough for him to imagine being 'gone' again but he loved his job, and he loved his sister. It was hard for him to imagine her alone, after everything that had happened. His overbearing, overprotective nature was all attributed to his love for her.

He placed the bottle on the counter next to her, lifting his hand to her shoulder, his fingers squeezing reassuringly. She lifted her gaze at the contact, turning her eyes to meet his and she saw genuine concern sitting there, soft between two furrowed brows and wide azure eyes.

'I know…' her voice was hoarse from sleep and from the built up emotions that were pushing from her stomach to her eyes that were welling slightly. She had never expected to feel so… torn about the situation. She had never felt so helpless before, and earlier with Callie she had started to feel a little less helpless but she knew that it was only temporary; she couldn't expect someone else to be a fix for her own problems. She was the one who had to fix herself. Nodding her head slowly, she reached across the countertop, fingers brushing their way up the bottle, sweeping at the droplets of condensation rolling down the glass. Bringing the bottle up between them she offered him a soft smile before clinking the bottles together, a silent acceptance of his apology. He laughed lightly and brought the beer to his mouth.

'Go Flyers?' he asked, holding the bottle by his lips, waiting hopefully for her response.

Bringing her own bottle back to her and taking a slow deep sip she felt her shoulders loosen, her head lolling back and her eyes closing slightly as she felt the warmth of the drink travel through her chest and straight to her stomach. Opening her eyes she glanced over towards the TV, the sound of cheering fans filling the air, and smiled.

'Go Flyers!'

The game was still in full swing, and Arizona, being full and a little buzzed from the two other bottles she had managed to consume, was lounging on the sofa, her head propped up on her hand that was resting on the arm of the sofa. She had stopped watching the game shortly after her second drink and her mind had drifted off into thoughts of the dark haired Latina she had dismissed earlier despite begging her stay. She had a slow ache in her stomach that no amount of drink could cure and she knew it was guilt. She hadn't watched Callie leave, she knew she couldn't have dealt with the sadness she knew was there on her face, she knew if she had looked up she would have betrayed her words when she asked her to leave but she could still hear the Latinas sad words curled up in her ear, on a constant loop she couldn't turn off.

'You okay', Tim asked, nudging her from her reverie '…I know it's a loaded question but, you're super quiet' he reached forward and sat his bottle on the coffee table before turning back to his sister questioningly.

'Just thinking…' she shrugged, waving a hand nonchalantly as she took another sip of her beer and closed her eyes, sighing deeply.

'Not about the dance teacher…' his tone disapproving despite knowing he was right, he rolled his eyes and turned away from her.

Her eyes opening quickly she sat forward and shook her head at him 'Callie, Tim. Her name is Callie and she was really nice to me, and I was horrible...we were horrible.' She snapped, bringing a hand between them and gesturing back and forth.

'No Arizona, we were being careful. You know dad always said to protect ourselves,' he breathed, pushing himself up off the sofa and pacing the floor back and forth, one hand chopping into the other as he rambled off another of their fathers teachings '…Always watch your flank, expect the unexpected and don't get caught off guard' he was becoming more and more agitated with each point and Arizona felt her hands shake with adrenaline as her heart raced at the sight before her.

'Hoo-ah!' she shouted a deep sound that resonated from her stomach. She pumped her bottle clenched fist in the air and didn't even flinch when the liquid sloshed around the glass and fell over the lip, landing in her lap. Tim faltered in his steps, and turned to face his sister, his eyes narrowed as he stared on is disbelief. She felt the colour drain from her own face, the sight before her sobering her a little. She had been so caught up in her own happenings that she hadn't realised how old Tim had gotten. She shook her head and squinted as she tried to regain her focus on the man in front of her, the laughter lines on his face had given way to worry and his wonderfully bright eyes had dulled with the years of action he had bared witness to.

'Arizona…I'm being serious here' he stated warningly, stepping closer and taking a knee in front of her.

'She's not the enemy Tim, she's a good person' she whispered her breath catching in her chest as she took a moment to acknowledge how close he was. His hands reaching out for her arms he held her in place forcing her to stay put when she normally would have ran.

'You've known her all of a few hours, how well can you know someone in that time?' it was more a statement than a question but he tilted his head to the side and listened as his sisters mouth opened and she began to speak.

'I don't know' she leant forward and pushed herself to the edge of the sofa, making an attempt to stand. Reaching for her arm Tim was surprised when she held out a hand to stop him from helping her, managing to get herself upright, albeit awkwardly. She smiled to herself thinking about what Callie had said earlier, she didn't have to be graceful she just had to try. Standing face to face with a surprised Tim she felt the heaviness in her heart lift slightly '… she just, she didn't deserve that. I was having a really crappy day. Who am I kidding? I've been having a really crappy couple of months and she made it better' she threw her hands into the air and shrugged her shoulder slightly, the corners of her mouth pulling upwards slightly '… When I was with her, she made me feel better, in minutes she made me feel… normal, our conversation was normal…and easy'.

Tim watched the way his sisters face changed when she talked about the Latina, the way the worry she held in buckets in her eyes would seem to dissipate and how her scowl would give way to an almost smitten smile but as much as he wanted to be happy for her, he knew this was dangerous territory to be stepping into and so she did what he did best and diffused the situation.

'You really don't want a home help?' he asked, looking down at his feet and chewing absentmindedly on his lip. Arizona gathered the handful of bottles from the table and made her way over to the kitchen placing them on the countertop she began to usher her way around, tidying up.

'Way to change the subject' she laughed, sticking her tongue out playfully and rolling her eyes '… but no I really don't want a home help, Tim'

'You can do this?' he asked her, moving over to the sink and turning the tap, filling the bowl with a, mixture of hot and cold water, reaching for the red liquid that sat behind the mixer and squeezing some into the water. Bubbles appeared from nowhere and he smiled as Arizona nudged her way in beside him, soft red cotton in her hand.

'I think I should try' she stated, watching as his large hands swirled their way around the dish she had been using, pushing all evidence of her meal away from the ceramic.

She felt her mind wander, her heart warming at how familiar this felt, she flitted back to memories of them doing this back home. Growing up, in the house they shared with their parents. No dishwasher, no fancy airs and graces, they had many a conversation over the soft smell of liquid bubbles and Arizona had come to learn that secrets were best told with warm hands and pruning fingers. She felt a smile creep onto her face, not a forced smile, not a smile she had to think about wearing but a genuine smile.

'I'm sorry for pushing them onto you…' Tim whispered, his gaze lost somewhere between the bubble infested surface and the deep water his now stilled hands were emerged in.

'It's okay… really' she reassured him, her side bumping his lightly as she signalled for him to hand her another dish. He complied and she began drying it off and placing it back in the cupboard above her head.

'We're good?' he asked hopefully, hands swirling around in the bowl and grasping at another plate.

She shrugged noncommittally, 'We are…okay. Not good, not yet.' She watched his head drop and his smile cower in the corner of his mouth '…You need to apologise to her!' she breathed, her words slipping fast between her pursed lips '… I can take your insecurities and I can understand why you act like you do. I know how hard it was when Dad was away and I know you have this need to parent me hardwired into you, but she really didn't deserve the way you spoke to her. She was nothing but helpful and kind and… sweet, to me' her voice trailed off, slightly saddened as the truth filled the air between them.

'But…'

She turned to him and shook her head '…No buts Tim, if you want to make this right then you need to apologise. You can't always wrap me up in cotton wool. I'm going to get hurt; things like this' she motioned to her leg and frowned, her voice catching in her throat as she continued '… they are going to happen. But, I don't blame you. I don't hate you and I don't think you have let me down'. She watched as her last words caused him to release the object in his hands, his body tensing as his breath fell over his unspoken words on its release from his mouth. She watched his arms shake lightly and she felt a sympathy creep upon her as she realised just how much he blamed himself for what had happened to her. As she realised just how much guilt he had been shouldering.

Reaching over, her hand gripping his forearm firmly she squeezed for his attention and when he turned to face her she began again ' I love you. I love that you love me unconditionally and that you gave up your leave to be here, for me…but you have to let me find my way. You have to trust that I know what is best for me; I mean you said I was meant for something else. You said it, those were your words. So what if this is my something else?' she asked, her stomach flipping as the words left her before she could process them completely. She stood on the spot, her mouth agape, and eyes wide as she ran over her statement once again.

'Ballroom dancing?' Tim questioned. Knowing what his sister was implying but wanting her to say it once again, wanting her to voice it just so he knew exactly what it was she was saying.

She smiled wide, pushing him playfully and shaking her head as realisation hit her full force '…No you moron. What if she's my something else?' her heart racing at the thought of the Latina, it had been a long time since she had felt anything close to what she felt in her presence. Her mind drifting back to their almost kiss, to the way it felt to sit next to her, hearing her laugh, how it felt when she held Callies hand in the palm of her own. She hadn't realised it before, but right now, nothing felt as real and as right as the Latina, and she allowed herself to forget for a moment that she had let her walk away. Until she felt her brothers saddening stare pull her from her daydream.

'What if she's not?' he asked earnestly. Pulling his hands from the bowl and reaching for the cloth held between his sister's hands, using it to dry his own as she shrugged and turned to face him.

'Then I give you full permission to say I told you so. But I need to take this chance Tim. I need to at least try… okay?' she wasn't really asking permission, rather telling him of her intentions but she waited nervously for his answer nevertheless. She watched his face move through the motions, uncertainty, deliberation and then finally settling on defeated disapproval.

'Okay' he muttered, hands dropping to his sides as Arizona bounced lightly in her step, making her way past him and towards her bedroom, her hair swinging softly around her shoulders. The soft closing of her door a more welcome sound to his ears than the harsh slam he was met with earlier, it gave his heart a peaceful feeling, a sense of regularity he had long dismissed as never returning and although he knew he would remain on his guard about the whole Callie situation, he decided that he could definitely allow his sister the chance to find herself again, because he had definitely missed the person she used to be.

In her room Arizona sat on the edge of her bed, her mind racing over her hearts unabashed attempt at confessing its feelings for the Latina. She wondered how it had happened so easily, so quickly and so stealthily. She had spent so many months shutting people off, so many years pushing those who tried to get close to her away. She had hid behind the cover of her job, hid behind the reasoning that if she died serving her country she would rather not leave behind a mess in her wake. She didn't want to carry that with her, she didn't want her decisions to be affected by outside influences and luckily for her she didn't ever have to experience that.

Her high school girlfriend had pulled away months before they graduated, and Arizona hadn't so much as bothered to ask her why. She hadn't batted an eyelash when Joanne had walked past her the day after prom was announced, hand in hand with Hannah and she hadn't felt so much as a pang of hurt when instead of slow dancing at the ritual farewell party, she was curled up on the oversized chair that sat in the corner of her bedroom, a black and white list in her hand detailing all she needed to pack for basic training.

She had always known this was where her path was leading, where she was headed in life had always been a road she could see clearly down. Her father a Colonel and her brother having already served two years had meant that their experiences would become her experiences, and having watched her mother wait up night after night during her father deployment in not so far off, war torn countries, tears in her eyes and eternal hope in her breaking heart. Arizona had decided she would never do that to another person. So the day she signed up she said goodbye to her parents and waved goodbye as she drove away, assured that the heartache she could cause was minimal.

Yet here she sat; her path unclear and her road so fogged up she stumbled more often than she was used to, and yet despite the obstacles she endured, and despite her years of self-sufficiency she had overcome the biggest hurdle she had ever encountered.

She had let someone in.

She wondered how she had come to care for and feel something for the caramel skinned woman over such a short space of time, and she found herself pondering when exactly it had happened. A half hour later and she still couldn't place her finger on the exact moment, so she conceded that maybe she would never be certain of the exact moment of origin of her feelings but she definitely knew they were there. She knew she had a lot of apologising to do, she knew she would say sorry over and over again until she was certain the Latina knew she meant it, because somewhere between coffee and a helping hand up the staircase, Arizona realised she not only needed someone, but she wanted someone… but not just anyone, she wanted Callie.


End file.
